Nothing Hurts Like Love
by Lucy Maria Elmer
Summary: A celebration on Atlantis goes awry and leaves many realising their true desires. (McWeir, Sheyla, BeckettOC)
1. Default Chapter

Nothing Hurts Like Love.

AUTHOR : Lucy Maria Elmer

SUMMARY: A celebration on Atlantis goes awry and leaves many realising their true desires.

CATEGORY: McWeir, Beckett/Other, Sheyla, angst, drama, comedy (kinda though I'm really not funny)

RATING :PG-13

SEASON: Season 1.

SPOILERS: Erm pretty much everything so far though episodes aren't discussed in detail.

DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret Productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on Copyrights or trademarks were intended. Previously Unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead is coincidental and not intended by the author. Trisha Yearwoods song Second Chance also doesn't belong to me and the title comes from a Daniel Bedingfield song. Please don't sue me. I'm poor!

For Nike x

It was late on Atlantis and the inhabitants were all weary after a long day; but a celebration was occurring and sleep was the last thing on a lot of minds. Today it had been announced that the first child was to be born on Atlantis. One of the team from Earth had fallen in love with one of the Athosians and in seven months a child was to be born. As unexpected as it was it was as if the child was a symbol of the trust that the two groups had put in each other and the bond that was forming between them. Now under the watchful eye of Dr Elizabeth Weir a celebration was being had by all.

Elizabeth Weir stood on the balcony watching over her colleagues. Major John Shepphard was chatting animatedly with Teyla and Aiden Ford, the three of them congratulating the happy couple as they walked past. A little to their right stood Doctorrs Rodney McKay and Carson Beckett who seemed to be consuming most of the food on the buffet table with the help of Jinto, a young Athosian boy who had become close to John Shepphard since his arrival on Atlantis. All around them people were laughing and joking and both the Athosians and people from Earth were getting to know each other. It was a sight that warmed Elizabeth's heart and as shocked as she had been when the young couple had come to her with their news she couldn't help but see the imminent arrival of the child as a good sign.

Elizabeth watched as Shepphard, Teyla and Ford found a free table and sat down. A couple of minutes later McKay and Beckett joined them with plates full of food and the team began to chat excitedly amongst themselves between taking handfuls of food to feed their appetites. She could make out Shepphard teasing a defensive Rodney and hear Beckett's Scottish accent join in with the teasing leaving a rosy cheeked Rodney trying to hide his head in his hands, muffling the sarcastic replies that he shot back at them.

She couldn't help but smile when she saw the Canadian Scientist being playfully teased by his colleagues and thought to herself how cute he was when he was embarrassed. He was so used to people teasing him because of his intelligence or just because of the way that he was that he was a pro at quick-witted responses and sharp remarks. It was a part of him that a lot of people found it hard to work with; including sometimes the people he was sitting with now.

As hard as it was for him to believe however the people he was with were his friends and their teasing was nothing more than a friendly banter. As annoying as he sometimes could be and as sarcastic and whiny as he appeared on a daily basis underneath all of that was a man who was aware what hard work he was. A man who was sensitive and could be heroic when he wasn't worried about how hungry he was or the possibility of certain death or a painful injury. He was a man that had been made the way he was by a hard start in life, but one whose sarcasm and whining they could all see past and accept. She only wished sometimes that other people would take the time to do the same and see the man that was underneath.

Feeling a pair of eyes watching him a still rosy cheeked Rodney looked around the large hall noticing Elizabeth standing alone on the balcony, occasionally nodding a greeting at people that walked past her and watching their table. He smiled at her and motioned for her to join them but she shook her head.

'It must be lonely being a leader.' He thought to himself as he looked at her standing there, wondering if it hurt her that everyone was in their own little groups and there she was standing alone.

Excusing himself from the table Rodney walked over to the buffet table and filled up a plate with various bits of food. Some he knew and some he wasn't sure about as they were Athosian dishes but he put them on the plate all the same. Jinto had told both he and Beckett what a lot of them were so he avoided the ones he didn't like the sound of. He then made his way through the crowds of people to the balcony where Elizabeth was standing and joined her. He handed her the plate.

"I thought you might be hungry." He told her laughing as Beckett attempted to teach Teyla and Ford the Highland Fling below them.

"I am a little. Thank you Rodney." Elizabeth said smiling gratefully.

"It's a good party." Rodney commented looking around the room at all the smiling faces.

"Yes it is. I think it's just what we needed." She agreed taking a bite of some of the food.

"What is this?" She asked him pulling a face.  
He grinned.  
"Oh it's Athosian. I'm not entirely sure what it is. Interesting isn't it?" He replied grinning cheekily.

Elizabeth swallowed quickly and then playfully elbowed him in the ribs, offering the plate to him.

"Can you believe that in seven months Atlantis will have it's first baby?" She then asked him.

"Well it had to happen sometime. Being here is amazing but it is kind of lonely. Its natural people are pairing up and that's probably going to result in marriage and babies." He commented. "Screaming, pooping, smelly babies." He added shuddering.

Elizabeth smiled at him.

"I take it you're not a baby person then?" She asked him.

"Oh don't get me wrong babies are cute and everything but can I see myself going gaga over a baby? I don't think so. What about you?" He asked her curiously.

"I've never really thought about it." She admitted softly.

"Really? I thought that all women got gooey eyed over babies." He teased thinking to himself how cute Elizabeth would be with a baby.

"Well this one doesn't. I've never really had time to. So far my life's pretty much been all about my career. I haven't really had time to think about a family before. I never even discussed children with Simon."

"Well I think that for any woman that I've been with the idea of little Rodney McKay's running around is more than enough to put them off having my children." Rodney told her with a sad smile on his face. "I'm a handful enough on my own."

"You need to try and think better of yourself Rodney. " Elizabeth told him honestly.

"I already know that I'm a genius. How much better can I think myself to be?" He asked her raising his eyebrows.

"You know what I mean. Underneath all your sarcasm and wit there isn't much trust in people or in yourself. You don't want to let anyone close to you." She commented sadly.

He looked down, unable to meet her eyes but touched by her concern for him.

"You're not as bad as you think you are you know. You act like you don't care. You push us all away and try and keep us at arms length by whining and sniping and getting angry but it doesn't work."

"Not even sometimes?" He asked her with a hint of a grin on his face.

"Okay. Sometimes." She agreed. "One day you'll find the right woman and you'll have your family. Maybe then you'll be a little less hard on yourself."

"Since when did you turn psychologist?" He snapped, immediately regretting it as some of the people standing close to them looked at the pair. "I'm sorry." He apologised. "I just...I've seen psychiatrists forever. My parents used to make me go. They couldn't handle me either. They couldn't handle how defensive or sarcastic I am...but what do they expect when you've spent your life being teased for being smart and told that you're not good enough to do anything you want by them and all the people around you? They didn't want a pianist as a son and they cared even less about having a scientist. I'm not even sure I want a family. I don't want to push any child of mine away like they did with me. Besides kids hate me and I'm uncomfortable with them."

"You just need to learn to relax around them a little that's all and then they'll relax around you. And recognising that you don't want to push your child away like your parents did...that's the first step. I think when you have your own child things will be different. You know what it's like not to be believed in or encouraged. I don't think you'd make that mistake." Elizabeth reassured him, not having heard Rodney talk so openly before and feeling flattered that he'd chosen her to talk to.

"Anyway I thought this was a celebration and here we are dampening the mood." He commented changing the subject and looking back down at their friends.

"Looks like Ford's nailed the Highland Fling." Elizabeth told her friend laughing as Shepphard got up and started to mimic the young Lieutenant while Teyla sat down tiredly.

"Looks like Carson's got a fan too." Rodney commented noticing one of the young nurses watching the handsome Scot as he taught them a piece of his culture.

Teyla noticed the pair watching from the balcony and motioned for them both to come down before collapsing back in her chair in a fit of giggles as John danced around her.

Rodney turned to Elizabeth smiling.

"Why don't you come and join us? It's a party. You shouldn't be up here alone." He said quietly.

"I should keep an eye on things." Elizabeth said a little sadly.

"You should have a good time. You deserve to let your hair down just the same as everybody else here. Come on...please?" He asked her pouting in an attempt to get her to come with him. It seemed to work.

"Okay fine but if all hell breaks loose then I'm holding you personally responsible."

"That's right blame the Scientist." He teased as she followed him down to where the rest of the group looked like they were having a whale of a time.

"Nice footwork Ford." Rodney told the young Lieutenant who was still trying his luck at the traditional Scottish dance.

"You think you can do better?" Shepphard challenged. "Hi Doc. Nice to see you." He told the small brunette smiling warmly before turning his attention back to Rodney and trying to get him to dance.

"Aye, Nice ta see ya enjoyin' the party lass." Carson told her smiling his trademark smile.

"It is indeed nice to see you Doctor Weir." Teyla agreed.

Elizabeth smiled at them warmly.

"No. I am not even going to pretend that I'm going to be any good. I won't do it." Rodney could be heard arguing suddenly very loudly.

The group turned around to watch the exchange, which was now taking place between Shepphard and McKay.  
"Come on McKay. A genius like yourself should be able to pick up some simple dance steps."

"I don't think so. No offence Carson it looks fun...but I'd like one day to go by where I haven't made a fool out of myself." Rodney explained sighing. "These feet have no rhythm. Trust me."

"No offence taken." Carson replied taking pity on his friend.

"McKay you're such a coward." Shepphard commented smiling.

Elizabeth glared at Shepphard. After what McKay had been talking to her about she knew there was no way that he was going to act very kindly to Shepphard's teasing.

"Excuse me?" Rodney replied angrily.

"Gentlemen please. This is a celebration. I will not have you argue like this." Elizabeth told them both sternly. "Have some respect for the reason why we're celebrating in the first place."

The two men looked at the floor and Elizabeth touched Rodney's arm reassuringly.

"Carson why don't you see if Emilie over there wants to dance with you?" Elizabeth commented glancing over at the pretty young nurse they'd noticed watching him earlier.

"You think I should?" He asked the group.

"Carson she was checking you out earlier. Go ask her." Rodney encouraged.

"If you don't I will." Ford teased getting off his seat.

Teyla laughed.

"No. No I'll ask her. She's a lovely wee girl." Beckett told them suddenly looking very thoughtful.

"I think I'll go do it..." Shepphard joined in getting off his seat and starting to walk over to the young woman.

"John..." Elizabeth called as they all watched him approach the young nurse.

"Here we go." Rodney muttered sitting down at the table and propping his head up with his arm sulkily.

"Hi." John said to the young woman.

She smiled, frowning a little as Beckett walked up behind the dark haired man and started to do hand gestures, trying to tell her not to listen to anything Shepphard said.

"Hi." She replied trying to stifle a laugh as she watched Beckett.

"You're Emilie right?" He asked her trying to disarm her with his most charming smile.

"I was last time I checked yeah. You're John Shepphard." She replied.

"Yes I am. I was wondering..." John started.

Emilie looked at him expectantly.

"You were wondering..." Emilie prompted, her blue eyes sparkling.

"If you had a choice between going on a date with me or the good doctor here who would you choose?" Shepphard asked her trying to put the most charming smile he could on his face.

Beckett buried his head in his hands.

"Oh he did not..." Ford commented; shaking his head and smiling.

"Oh yes he did." Rodney replied as Teyla watched the both of them and their exchange with much confusion.

"Let me get this straight. You want me to choose out of the both of you who I'd prefer to date?" Emilie asked him.

Shepphard nodded grinning and Beckett started walking back to the table.

"Well then. I have to say...I pick Doctor Beckett. Sorry Major. You're just not as cute to me." The young woman replied tying to stifle a giggle when she saw John's expression.

Beckett stopped dead and turned around and John gaped.

"Of course you pick him. I knew you were going to choose him." John told her a little unsurely.

"Of course you did." Emilie replied sarcastically taking a sip of her drink.

"I'm going to go sit back down now." John told her blushing; walking silently past Beckett and sitting back down at the table where Ford immediately began to laugh.

Beckett meanwhile walked over to Emilie.

"I'm sorry about that lass. That was not my idea." He apologised fiddling with the cuff of his shirt nervously.

Emilie smiled and the breath caught in Beckett's throat as he realised for the first time just how pretty she was.

"I know." She said softly smiling at him sweetly. "You think he was shocked that I picked you?" She asked.

Beckett smiled and sat down next to her.

"I was the one who was most shocked lass believe me." He replied. "I don't know why a pretty girl like you would pick me."

"You don't strike me as an unconfident person Doctor Beckett."

"Appearances can sometimes be deceptive." He replied and she nodded.

"Were you just sayin' that you'd pick me or was it true?" He then asked her shyly.

"I'm not a liar Doctor." She assured him. "Besides who could resist those eyes. You really are cute." She told him going shy.

Beckett smiled.

"So that dance you were teaching the others...it's Scottish?" Emilie asked him tilting her head to the side and looking up at him.

Beckett nodded. He couldn't help but think how adorable this young woman was.

"I was actually wondering if you'd like to dance with me. That's why I was coming over until Major Shepphard decided to get involved. Would you like to dance with me?" He asked softly.

Emilie nodded and took Beckett's hand in her own.

"Sure." She replied. "I'd love to."

Beckett gently pulled Emilie up off her seat and with a hand on the small of her back led her to a spot where he could teach her to dance.

The others watched the Doctor happily dance and smiled.

"I think the right man got the girl Sir." Ford commented as Beckett's laughter could be heard echoing in the hall.

Shepphard smiled.

"I think you're right Lieutenant. All he needed was a little push."

"Oh so that's what you were doing. Giving them a little push." Elizabeth asked with a hint of mocking in her voice.

"Of course." Shepphard replied sitting back in his chair and stretching.

"Funny how you ended up being completely embarrassed." Rodney remarked.

"Yeah. Now I know what it's like to be you." Shepphard replied quickly.

Elizabeth turned to Rodney and swore that she could see hurt on his face. Her observation was proved right when he got up out of his chair and began to walk away.

"Major that was uncalled for." Elizabeth scolded getting up out of her chair. She wanted to follow Rodney and see if he was all right.

"I was kidding." He shouted loud enough so McKay could hear him. "It was a joke!"

"It's nice to know that you see me as a joke Major." Rodney shouted back behind him. "I'm sure everyone else thinks that too."

Before anyone had time to reply Halling and a large group of Athosians moved through the hall with trays of drinks. They handed them out to the Earth team who gratefully accepted. When everyone had received one Halling then walked up to Elizabeth.

"We thought it right that seeing as our two cultures have become entwined, we should share some of our culture with you. This is a drink native to our culture. It is said to make you aware of your inner desires."

Weir looked around a little unsurely at her people. When she saw that they were already drinking she took a sip herself. It was only then that she noticed people had started collapsing onto the floor.

"We need a medical team to.." Beckett started before he collapsed, Emilie kneeling down next to him to feel for a pulse and then falling at his side.

"Rodney..." Elizabeth whispered frightened as the upset Scientist collapsed in front of her. She turned around and noticed Shepphard and Ford had collapsed too, their heads resting on the table as Teyla tried to rouse them.

"Halling..." Weir called softly before dizziness overcame her too and then everything went black. 


	2. Chapter 2

Dr Rodney McKay rubbed his head as he tried desperately to focus his eyes on his surroundings. The last thing he could remember was feeling dizzy in the function hall and now he had woken up and found himself lying on the floor.

"What the...." He whispered as he realised that he wasn't in the function hall anymore but in what looked like someone's quarters.

Panic immediately began to rise in him. Where was he? He knew he was on Atlantis but he wasn't in the infirmary, which is where you would usually be taken if you'd collapsed and these weren't his quarters. What was going on?

He was snapped out of his thoughts by the sound of someone groaning at his side. It was then that he saw Elizabeth lying on the floor next to him semi-conscious. "Oh god. Elizabeth?" He called tilting her chin up with his hand and running his other hand tenderly through her hair. "Elizabeth wake up."

Elizabeth's eyelids began to flutter and Rodney sighed with relief when her green eyes opened.

"Rodney...are you okay? You collapsed..." She asked him groggily.

"I'm fine. I think you collapsed too." He told her still stroking her hair back off her forehead.

Elizabeth put a hand to her head and sat up slowly. She looked around the room.

"Where are we? What the hell is going on? People were collapsing one after the other in the function hall."

"I really have no idea on all counts. All I know is that somehow we left the hall and now we're here...wherever here is." he replied looking around the room frantically.

"It looks like we're in someone's quarters." Elizabeth commented shakily picking herself up off the floor.

Rodney noticing this put a hand on her back, and though he was shaky he helped her up.

"You think we've been taken hostage?" He asked a little fearfully.

"Why would we be in someone's quarters if we were hostages? And why one with a crib? There's no one else here. Surely there'd be people with weapons."

"Unless they're guarding the door outside. Maybe they want us to breed." He offered.

Elizabeth glared at him and rolled her eyes.

The door opening and a person entering the room interrupted the pair. Both sat in shock as they saw the person bend over in pain, grabbing hold of the bed.

"Rodney..." Elizabeth said softly as she stared at the figure trying her hardest to comprehend what was going on.

"This can't be..." Rodney replied. "How can this be? Unless somehow we've time travelled or travelled into an alternate universe?"

"The drinks...Halling said to me that the drink that the Athosians were handing out would show us our inner desires. That's when we all started to collapse."

"So what? This is some kind of drunken delusion? Then how can we be sharing it? My brain hurts." He commented sighing.

"I don't know what's going on Rodney. All I know is that I'm sitting here watching a heavily pregnant version of myself in what seems to be labour. Have you noticed how she...I...don't seem to be able to hear us?" Elizabeth pointed out.  
Rodney frowned.

"You might be in a bit too much pain to hear us really." He told her.

"It could be that. Or she...I...can't see or hear us."

Rodney walked over to where the other Elizabeth was standing holding on to the bed with one hand and rubbing her stomach with another. He waved a hand in front of her face. She didn't even blink.

"Hello?" He called softly.

There was no response.

"Okay this is creepy. It's like we're ghosts here." He pointed out turning back to Elizabeth.

"You believe in ghosts?" Elizabeth asked him smiling in spite of the situation.

Rodney was about to reply when another figure came through the door. This time it was Rodney's turn to be shocked. Another version of him had just entered the room in an awful hurry and ran over to the pained Elizabeth. Ghost Rodney walked back over to Elizabeth and the pair of them sat watching what was unfolding in front of them.

"Sweetheart? Grodin just told me that you'd started having pains." The other Rodney said softly rubbing Elizabeth's back. "You should be in the infirmary."

Elizabeth sat down on the bed rubbing her stomach affectionately.

"Rodney we've had three false alarms already. This is probably another one. Our baby is a typical McKay. It keeps changing its mind about when it wants to arrive." She teased.

"Our baby?" Ghost Elizabeth whispered glancing at Rodney who looked just as shocked.  
The other Rodney sat down on the bed next to Elizabeth and put a hand over hers on her stomach.

"You should get checked out just in case. This is our baby Liz. Maybe today's the day. You're all ready overdue. I don't know about you but I'm ready to see this little one." He told her rubbing her back.

The other Elizabeth leant in and kissed him.

"This from the man who was worried about becoming a father." She commented cupping his cheek with the palm of her hand and then kissing his forehead.

"Yeah well things change. I'm still a little worried but this is my first baby. What guy wouldn't be worried? I'm determined to be a good father Elizabeth. I'm not going to make the same mistakes with our baby that my parents made with me."

Elizabeth looked at him lovingly.

"Oh I don't know. They couldn't have done that bad a job. I fell I love with you didn't I?"

The other Rodney grinned.

"You're the woman who makes me want to be a better man Elizabeth. Because of my life before I was always so arrogant and selfish...and then I met you and I knew that I wanted to change. I wanted to be better for you...and then for our baby. You make me feel. Both of you. And I love you for it."

"We love you too." Elizabeth reassured him smiling as the baby kicked their hands.

"I think little one was agreeing with you." Rodney told her smiling as he thought of his unborn child.

"I think your right daddy."

For a moment they sat there in each other's arms as 'ghost' Elizabeth and Rodney sat watching. Both were shocked by what they had seen and at first were unable to look at each other. Elizabeth was the first one to break the silence.

"Rodney we're seeing our inner desires here, you do realise that?" She asked him quietly. "And we're seeing them together. That means..."

"I know what it means." He replied softly.

"You do want a family." She commented. "You want..."

He looked at her and Elizabeth could see he was petrified that because of whatever they'd been given by the Athosians, she was able to see deeper into him than she'd ever be able to otherwise.

"It's okay Rodney. This doesn't go any further than here." She reassured him.

He looked at the ground.

"I guess you think I really am a loser now." He commented.

Elizabeth looked at him incredulous.

"Why would I think that?" She asked him frowning.  
"Because now you know that deep down I want the same as what everyone else does. I want to find someone that I love who loves me back and can accept me for the pain in the ass that I am. You can see that I do want a family. I'm just too damn afraid that I'm going to make a mess of things to do anything about it or even to admit that I do want them." "I don't think you're a loser Rodney. I don't think that at all. I couldn't think that of you. Besides you're not the only one who's seeing this. This is a part of me too. Earlier tonight I told you that I hadn't really thought about children and yet here we are seeing ourselves about to have one of our own. I guess deep down I don't just want my life to be about my career. I want my career more than anything...but I'd like just what everyone else wants to have too."

"I guess that's partly why we're seeing this together." Rodney commented. "And partly..."

Elizabeth nodded the words not needing to be spoken between them.

The Elizabeth that they were watching crying out in pain interrupted the two. The other Rodney looked like he was in total panic but still took her hand in his own and rubbed her back.

"Oh my god Rodney. This is it. My waters just broke." She exclaimed holding on to her stomach. "We're going to be parents."

"Oh wow. Oh God. Okay. Uh...We need to get you to the infirmary. Do you want a med team to come here or do you want to walk?" He asked her.

"I think I can walk. Oh this really hurts." Elizabeth groaned through gritted teeth as she was hit by a contraction. "Help me up..." She asked him. "Ohhhhh...owwww." She groaned holding on to him tightly.

The duo watched as the concerned father to be put an arm around Elizabeth's waist and took one hand in his own which she squeezed tightly. He then helped her up off the bed, supporting her the best that he could.

"It's the last time we're going to be in here without our child Liz." He commented looking around the room as he led her to the doorway.

"I'm scared Rodney." Elizabeth admitted rubbing her stomach and leaning into him, holding his hand, which was entwined in hers up to her cheek.

"You have no need to be. You're going to be a wonderful mother. You've done everything you can to protect this baby since the moment you knew it was there. I'm here sweetheart okay?" He soothed.

She nodded and Rodney kissed her forehead.

"Come on lets get you to the Doc." He told her as they left the room.

"What do we do now?" 'Ghost' Rodney asked Elizabeth as their counterparts left.

" I don't know." She told him. "I don't know how we wake up from this...I don't know where this is. I don't know." She added panicking.

Rodney put an arm around her.

"It's okay. Somehow we'll get back home. This can't be a permanent thing can it?"

Elizabeth shrugged not knowing what to believe.

"It's okay to be freaked out you know." He told her. "This is all very strange...and just a little bit revealing."

Elizabeth nodded.

"Isn't it usually you freaking out and me trying to calm you down?" She asked him with a smile.

"It is indeed. Aren't role reversals confusing?" He replied trying to make her laugh.

"What do you think we should do? Do you think we should go see how all of this pans out? There's got to be a point to us being brought here." Elizabeth asked him.

"I can't think of what else we can do." Rodney replied. "Are you sure you want to see yourself giving birth? It might put you off children forever." He then teased.

"I'm not even sure I want you to see it." She told him.

Rodney smiled.

"I promise I won't look at anything you don't want me to."

Elizabeth smiled and the pair of them got up.

"Let's go see our baby." Elizabeth said softly as the pair left the room.


	3. Chapter 3

After following their counterparts through the corridors of Atlantis and watching as Elizabeth was overcome by contraction after contraction the two made it to the infirmary.

It was strange walking through Atlantis not being seen by people and a little freeing in a way. Rodney had already shown his dislike for some of the people that passed them by using some rather rude hand gestures, taking full advantage of the fact that they couldn't be seen. It was even more strange seeing themselves as they got ready to become parents.

Elizabeth couldn't begin to imagine the pain that her counterpart was going through but she was glad that she had Rodney at her side to soothe and comfort her and help her get through the pain. He was the doting father to be and he obviously loved her very much. She obviously loved him too and their unborn child. If it were she and her Rodney in their counterparts place would they be as happy now?

Elizabeth couldn't help but wonder how Rodney felt watching this all unfold in front of him. They were both shocked by it. That was a given. Who wouldn't be shocked if they were in the situation that she and Rodney were in now? But did he have any feelings about what he was seeing?

Earlier that evening back on their Atlantis and even here she and Rodney had discussed children and the unsure ness and fear he had in regards to the fatherhood and now she had seen his counterpart talk about it firsthand. She had spoken to him about how she hadn't really thought about children. But now here they were seeing something that they desired and they were seeing it together. They were seeing themselves together with a baby nearly ready to be born and she knew it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what the meaning of that was. They wanted love. They wanted a family. But most shockingly and yet somehow naturally they wanted those things with each other.

She couldn't help but feel a little guilty for seeing what she and Rodney had been put there to see. She had someone back on Earth and yet here she was seeing how things could possibly be with Rodney. Her inner desires didn't even seem to include Simon back home. That was something she felt so guilty for and it broke her heart. She had seen herself happy and having something that she didn't even know she wanted. How could she feel guilty about wanting that? How could she feel guilty about seeing what could make her happy? Because, she realised, what she was seeing had turned her whole world upside down.

Rodney meanwhile was a little awestruck by it all. When he thought about children and whether or not he wanted them he immediately became filled with doubt over his abilities as a father and over the aspects of his personality that he feared would prevent him from being a good one. The same aspects of his personality that he feared would be passed on to his child. Any want for a child immediately became replaced by a fear of failure and so until that day he had kept any paternal instincts tucked away deep inside. But watching himself with the pregnant Elizabeth and seeing himself so totally in love with her and their unborn child had made him wonder about things.

Yes they were seeing a version of life that they both desired and yes maybe the Rodney they were watching would be a doting father but if he was in the same situation would he be the same? Or was he just seeing the person that he wanted himself to be? Or would he have run by now because of the fear of ending up hurting the person he loved or the fear of being a bad father? It was then he realised that there was no way he would run. Not from her and not from his baby. There was no way he could run from something so beautiful or someone so beautiful in her strength, dignity and spirit.

Fear could be paralysing; but why should he let it stop him from being happy and living the life he wanted? Elizabeth truly had made him want to be a better man and he truly did love her for it. Rodney looked at her and wondered what she was thinking. She looked so caught up in her thoughts as they walked along the corridors that he didn't want to interrupt her. This had to be having an effect on her just the same as it was him and he didn't want to stop her from trying to work through it. He and Elizabeth made it to the infirmary a couple of minutes after their counterparts did and when they arrived in there the heavily pregnant Elizabeth was already in an infirmary bed with Dr Beckett and his team checking on the progress of the labour and mother and baby's health. Rodney stood at her side watching anxiously as she was examined; smiling proudly when Dr Beckett announced that Elizabeth was indeed in labour and that it wouldn't be long before the baby was born. 'Ghost' Rodney and Elizabeth glanced at each other shyly while Rodney's counterpart could be heard trying to soothe Elizabeth as her contractions came quicker. They then watched Dr Beckett hook Elizabeth up to a machine that monitored the baby's heartbeat.

"That's the most beautiful sound in the world." A young nurse who they recognised as Emilie pointed out to the proud parents to be.

"I think you're right." Elizabeth agreed as she smiled at Rodney proudly, then looking down at her swollen stomach as he stood totally in awe at the sound. "Just think you two have all of this to look forward to." She told Emilie and Doctor Beckett who smiled at each other lovingly.

"It's like a soap opera is this." Carson Beckett could be heard stating.

Elizabeth frowned. She had been watching what was going on around her counterparts bedside since she and Rodney had entered the infirmary and the Doctor Beckett she was watching hadn't said a word. Either he could throw his voice or...

"Carson?" Rodney called noticing that there were not one but two Carson's and two Emilie's in the infirmary.

Elizabeth turned to Rodney and followed his gaze to where another Carson and Emilie were sitting. The pair immediately tore their eyes away from the drama in front of them and focused on the duo.

"Bloody hell Rodney am I glad to see you two." Carson replied relieved. "What the hell is goin' on here?" He asked them.

Elizabeth and Rodney walked over to the pair, all wincing as they heard Elizabeth's counterpart groan in pain.

"Did you two have some of the Athosians drink?" Rodney asked them both.

Carson and Emilie nodded.

"Yeah. He collapsed. I knelt down to check on him and then I came over all dizzy and weak." Emilie told them.

"You collapsed too. I saw you both and then Rodney and then I must have collapsed myself. The next thing I knew I was coming round in their quarters and Rodney was there. And then all of this...started to happen." She explained turning her attention back to her pained counterpart on the bed who was having her back rubbed affectionately by her McKay who obviously hated that she was in so much pain.

"Elizabeth has a hunch that this is to do with the drink that the Athosians were handing out to us. Halling told her that it makes you aware of your inner desires. Somehow we've woken up as some kind of apparition looking in on ourselves living the things that we desire the most."

"But how can that be? Where is this place? How can we all be here at the same time? How is any of this possible?" Carson questioned.

Emilie gently put a hand on his arm hoping to calm him a little. He smiled at her gratefully and put his hand over hers.

"I'm beginning to learn that in this galaxy anything's possible." Rodney told the other man sitting down. "In answer to everything else I have no idea. All of us meeting like this is a good sign though. It looks like whatever this drinks done to us we're somehow all experiencing this phenomenon in the same place. Everyone else who had some of the drink must be here somewhere, watching themselves like we are. It's like we're in a shared dream where every single one of us is watching ourselves live out our desires as outsiders."

"It's a little freaky." Emilie replied.

"Amen to that." Rodney told her glancing worriedly at Elizabeth who was standing looking at her counterpart thoughtfully. "Elizabeth?" He called.

There was no response.

"Are you all right Doctor Weir?" Emilie asked her quietly as she tiredly leant her head on Carson's shoulder.

"I'm fine...this is just all so..."

"Revealing...?"

"Bizarre..."

"Thought provoking?" The other three chorused.

Elizabeth nodded.

"I can't believe I heard our...their...babies heartbeat." She commented softly as she found herself overwhelmed by emotion.

"It is pretty amazing. I know this is a dream. It's not what's real. It's not what's going to happen; but we're still here experiencing this with them and it's just so...it's a little person. It's a little person that she's carrying inside of her and its mine...it's just amazing." Rodney commented a little wistfully, his attention turning back onto his counterpart who was sitting at Elizabeth's side, stroking her hair as she rested her head against his chest between contractions and whispering 'I love you' to her.

Elizabeth looked at him. She had seen so many new depths to him that evening and this was another. He truly was in awe of the events that they were seeing and it touched her deeply to know that what he was seeing affected him so deeply. It was affecting her too and she was glad that she wasn't alone in feeling that.

Being a leader could be so lonely sometimes but in Rodney she'd found herself a person who she wanted to talk to and whose many facets she wanted to learn about. He was a complicated man, arrogant yet brilliant but underneath all of that so unsure about himself and life. He was petrified of failing and terrified of getting hurt and so he used his humour as a way to push people away. With her though it didn't work because she saw beneath it all and she wanted to be around him whether he believed her or not.

With her he was gentle and sensitive when he wanted to be. It was as if she made him embrace his more emotional side. She'd trust him with her life and take him into her confidence though she was sure he wouldn't believe her if she told him that.

Spending time with him that evening she had learnt more about him than he ever thought possible. She had seen a side to him that though she had sensed was there she hadn't really seen before. He was sitting beside her in complete awe about a baby that their counterparts were having and even though she knew that this all was just a manifestation of their deepest desires, it didn't stop his reaction to it all and the care for her he'd shown that night from warming her heart. "I remember when I was training as a nurse and I first heard a baby's heartbeat on a sonogram. To see the parents faces when they realise that there's a tiny little person inside...you can't beat it. I cried." Emilie revealed.

Carson looked at her affectionately. He already thought a lot of the young woman and he was glad that he was sharing this experience with her. They had realised pretty early on what their experiencing this together meant. They desired each other. That was something perfectly clear when they saw their counterparts together.

"So what did you two see before we arrived?" Rodney asked Beckett and Emilie as Elizabeth sat down beside him, watching as her counterpart started to cry with the pain and tiredness.

"A little bit more of Doctor Weir than we expected." Carson joked. "Apart from that we came round to see ourselves talking on one of the beds. It turns out here I've found a cure to one of the rampant viruses that plagues the Pegasus Galaxy."

"Not a bad desire to have." Rodney commented. "Carry on..." He then prompted.

"We're engaged here." Emilie told them a little shyly.

"Ah so that was what their little glance at each other was for earlier." Rodney teased.

"And we also just found out that we're going to be parents." Beckett told his friend. "I'm goin' to be a daddy here." He told his friend as he looked at Emilie and smiled warmly.

They were interrupted by Elizabeth's counterpart screaming in absolute agony. All four of them turned their attention to what was going on.

"Okay Elizabeth not long to go now." Doctor Beckett soothed.

"Come on honey breathe. Remember what we practised?" Rodney asked her holding her hand that was entwined in his own up to his mouth and kissing it.

Elizabeth nodded.

"It really hurts." She told Rodney through gritted teeth. "I'm so tired and it really hurts."

Rodney kissed her forehead tenderly.

"I know it does and I hate seeing you in so much pain..." He told her stroking her hair back off her forehead, which was covered in sweat.

"You're the reason I'm in so much pain." She snapped making Dr Beckett and Emilie smile.

"It takes two sweetie remember?" Rodney told her kissing her forehead. "I know that you're tired. I know that you're in pain. I swear that you've nearly broken my fingers by squeezing them so hard...but honey in a little while you're going to be holding our child and this pain will all be a memory." He told her softly.

"I can't believe our baby will be here soon...owwwww...." She groaned. "It doesn't seem long since we found out about the baby. This pregnancy's gone so quickly.... Owwww." She groaned again tearfully.

Elizabeth leant forwards and Rodney rubbed her back in circular motions trying to relieve the pain a little.

"Seeing you pregnant has been the most amazing thing. Feeling our baby kicking inside you. Watching your face when you felt it kick for the first time when I'd just got off the puddle jumper from a mission...singing to it and feeling it kick as though it was trying to tell me to shut up...I've loved every minute of it."

"You weren't the one throwing up every morning or suffering from mood swings, or getting fat and irritable and swollen...then you wouldn't have loved it so much." She teased him.

"You're gorgeous you know that?" He said honestly. "You've been glowing from the start of this pregnancy. I've never seen you so happy and you're not fat honey. There's a baby in there. There's a difference."

"I know. I don't regret any of this even though it does hurt like hell right now." She reassured him. "I can't wait to hold our baby. I can't wait for you to hold it. Feeling it move inside me and hiccup and kick...I've been bonding with this child for the last nine months. Now you get to bond with it to."

Rodney smiled.

"I already have." He replied kissing her. "I've felt a lot of those kicks and those hiccups. When I've held you in bed and had my hand resting on your stomach I've felt all those things...maybe a little differently to you but I have. I'm not going to let you down Liz. You or our baby." He reassured her.

"I know." Elizabeth replied squeezing his hand tenderly.

The four who were sitting watching it all turned to each other, touched by what the were seeing. Rodney swore he could see tears in Elizabeth's eyes.

"You really love her here." Emilie commented.

"And you really love him lass." Beckett replied.

Elizabeth and Rodney looked at each other uncomfortably.

"It's okay. We're here too remember...together...like you are. It's the same for us." Beckett reassured them. "You don't have to worry about anyone finding out back on Atlantis."

Emilie nodded her head in agreement.

"Revealing is an understatement about all this." Elizabeth commented. The others nodded in agreement.

"Look at you two. Young love." Rodney commented glancing over at Beckett and Emilie's counterparts. Beckett was standing there with Emilie leaning back into is chest and one of his hands on her stomach. Their engagement rings could clearly be seen.

Beckett and Emilie blushed shyly. "I think I need to push, Carson." Elizabeth shouted.

Carson examined her and nodded.

"You're fully dilated. Okay lass on the next contraction push as hard as ye can." Carson told her.

Elizabeth nodded and took a tight hold of Rodney's hand.

The four spectators winced at Elizabeth's pained groans as she pushed. She looked so tired and all of them could tell she was struggling. Rodney was comforting her any way that he could, encouraging her to push and squeezing her hand comfortingly. Carson and Emilie too were offering all of the encouragement that they could to her as she reached the final stages of labour.

'Ghost' Rodney turned to Elizabeth and put a hand on her back gently.

"How are you doing?" He asked her quietly.

"I'm a little overwhelmed here." She admitted. "What about you?" She asked him concerned.

"A little overwhelmed." He agreed. "I just can't help wondering if when it is my turn to have a child I'd be anything like the Rodney McKay here or whether I'd just freak out and run like the coward we all know I can be."

"Oh I don't know. You seemed pretty awed by the whole process earlier." Elizabeth told him.

"Yeah. I am...I'm sure that I would be even more if it were actually me going through this all. Watching all this has made me think about the future you know? Maybe I wouldn't be so bad after all. Not if I tried. It must be amazing to be with someone that you love and experience your child growing inside her with her. It'd be a steep learning curve for me. But I'd be willing to learn and to try and be a better father than my own ever was. It's the opening up yourself to fatherhood and to your child, which I think for me, would be the hardest thing. I'd be so convinced I'd be bad that I'd be too scared to try."

Elizabeth smiled at him.

"You're not as big a coward as you think you are you know." She reassured him. "You shouldn't be scared to try. When you open yourself up to the people around you Rodney...that's when you're at your best."

"Thank you." He said gratefully. "It's all right to be overwhelmed about all of this you know. This is what's deep within us. It's bound to challenge everything that just a few hours earlier we believed was true."

"It certainly makes you think about things. I'm watching myself having your child Rodney."

"I know. It must be difficult for you. What with everything at home and my being a complete pain in everyone's ass."

"That's just it. Rodney this is coming from us. This is what's inside of us. It's.... Complicated."

"Complicated is an understatement." Beckett commented.

"How about you two? How are you doing?" Rodney asked them as he discreetly took Elizabeth's hand in his own and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"I'm just glad that I'm not here alone. I'm glad I've got you here with me." Emilie told Beckett.

He smiled at her.

"Ditto." He replied. "You've got to admit; as weird as this is it is a little interesting to learn what your inner desires are. Apparently one of mine is sitting right next to me." He said looking at the young woman who then rested her head on his shoulder again.

Beckett rested his head on tops of hers.

The four were interrupted by Beckett's counterpart shouting by Elizabeth's bed.

"Come on lass. I can see the baby's head. One last push."

"Come on Elizabeth you can do it." Emilie told her as she stood by Carson.

"Come on honey. This is the last one." Rodney said kissing Elizabeth's forehead.

The four spectators all watched as Elizabeth pushed as hard as she could and then just a few seconds later a babies cry could be heard echoing in the room.

Carson picked the baby up and held her up so the new parents could see her.

"Congratulations Elizabeth. Congratulations Rodney. You have a bonny baby girl." He told them as he gently placed the tiny baby on her mother's chest.

"Oh god Rodney. We have a daughter. Look at her. She's so tiny." Elizabeth told him proudly as she cradled the little baby in her arms and kissed her forehead. "Hello sweetheart. I'm your mommy. I'm a mommy." She told Carson and Emilie as tears of happiness streamed down her cheeks.

"You did it sweetheart. She's adorable. She's completely adorable. I can't believe I'm a daddy." Rodney commented stunned, as tears started to stream down his own cheeks. He sat down on the bed next to Elizabeth and kissed her tenderly. "I love you. Marry me?" He asked her.

Elizabeth looked at him stunned.

"Rodney.... You just proposed to me." She told him kissing their daughter again.

"I know. Will you marry me Elizabeth Weir?" He asked her again as he was overcome by emotion.

"Yes. Of course I'll marry you. I love you" She replied smiling happily as she looked at the little girl in her arms. "I think this one would like to have a cuddle with her daddy." Elizabeth told him smiling proudly as Emilie handed the tiny baby to Rodney who cradled her like she was the most precious thing in the world.

He turned to Elizabeth and smiled at her tearfully.

"This is our daughter. Our perfect, beautiful little girl. I never knew I could love anything as much as I love her...and you. You are both the most precious things in the world to me you know that?" He told Elizabeth proudly leaning in and kissing her.

She smiled, overcome with such love for the man who sat beside her cradling their daughter so tenderly in his arms.

"I know. I feel the same." She replied honestly as she watched him hold their child and thanked god that she was healthy and safe.

"I'm your daddy sweetheart." Rodney told the little girl that he held in his arms. "And I promise you I'll never let you down my darling little girl. Not you or your mommy." He said quietly smiling proudly as the little girl looked up at him with wide eyes and grabbed his finger with her tiny hand.

'Ghost' Rodney watched in awe as his counterpart cradled his baby daughter in his arms and couldn't even begin to imagine what he was feeling right now. He looked so happy; but he couldn't help thinking he would be too if that were him in the same position holding a baby that he and Elizabeth had created in love and knowing that she had just agreed to be his wife. He'd give anything to know what it felt like even if it was just for a second. Seeing himself with the family life that he so craved had made him determined not to let fear overcome him when the time was right.

Elizabeth also watched in awe, as her counterpart became a mother. She wondered what if felt like to suddenly be overwhelmed by a mothers love for her newborn baby and what she'd feel like if it was her having Rodney's baby. She'd never realised how far to the back of her mind she'd pushed her wanting to have a family until she had seen all she had that night. She also hadn't realised how deeply her feelings for Rodney went until she saw his face as he watched his counterpart hold the baby in his arms. Of course things weren't that simple and there was a lot that she had to think about and consider but as hard as it had been at times to watch what her hearts desires were she didn't think she would change it. She had learnt so much about herself and the people sitting in that room with her and that was a gift. 


	4. Chapter 4

Doctor Carson Beckett looked at his two friends as they watched the events unfold in front of them. It had been a strange couple of hours to say the least and a testing time for all of them but for them he felt so much sympathy and concern.

If anyone had told him a few hours ago that he'd be seeing his hearts desires played out in front of his very eyes he would never have believed them. If someone had told him he'd be sharing the experience with a beautiful young nurse he'd thought the world of since their arrival on Atlantis he wouldn't have believed that either. But he was. He was seeing her desires entwined with his own and he was seeing them with her at his side. She desired him as much as he desired her and he had never been so grateful to John Shepphard or the Athosians for bringing he and Emilie together that night.

He watched as she stood over by the bed next to Elizabeth's looking at the baby. His counterpart and hers were sitting on the bed and he was holding the little girl in his arms like a proud godfather should, cooing and talking to her as he rocked her gently. Emilie sat at his side with her head on his shoulder and one of her fingers was clasped in the little girls' hand.

Elizabeth now had Rodney sitting on her bed behind her and she was sitting between his legs with her back resting against his stomach and her head resting against his chest. His arms were wrapped around her protectively yet tenderly so as not to cause any discomfort after the birth and their hands were entwined on her lap. He soothingly ran his thumbs in circular patterns over the soft skin of her hands and he had his head resting against hers. They were both watching Carson and Emilie with their little girl and smiling.

'Ghost' Emilie walked back over to them and sat back down at Carson's side.

"She is the most adorable little girl I have ever seen." Emilie told them all energetically.

Elizabeth and Rodney looked at her.

"She's got her moms eyes. They're so green! And her daddy's mouth. She has this whole cute little pouty thing going on." Rodney and Elizabeth smiled.

"Hey I don't pout!" Rodney then argued frowning.

"Aye you do." Beckett replied nodding his head. He always enjoyed teasing Rodney.

"I do not." Rodney argued back.

"Rodney you really do." Elizabeth agreed.

"Don't." He replied pouting sulkily as the others laughed.

"You should go and have a look at her. She's so sweet! They've called her Rebecca Elise McKay. Such a pretty name." Emilie told them.

Rodney looked over at the little girl in Beckett's arms and decided that he did want to see her. They'd all just watched her birth and he wanted to see the little girl that had made his counterpart so proud.

He got up and walked over to the bed where Beckett was holding her and looked down at the tiny baby girl. Emilie was right. She did have her mother's eyes and wispy brown hair but she had his mouth. She was so perfect and he wished he could hold her as Beckett was now.

"Elizabeth you have to see her." He called glancing over at his counterpart and Elizabeth who were whispering sweet nothings to each other lovingly while looking at their daughter.

"Rodney I don't know." She replied softly amazed by all of the emotions that were whizzing through her for Rodney and about what they had seen.

Rodney nodded understandingly watching as Emilie took baby Rebecca into her arms. She was being watched both by the Beckett she was sitting next to and the one Rodney had been sitting with a few minutes previously. His friend looked smitten with the pretty nurse.

"She's so small. She really looks like you." Rodney told Elizabeth smiling as he looked at the baby again.

The baby began to cry and Emilie gently handed her back to Elizabeth's counterpart who soothed her daughter immediately.

Elizabeth decided that though this was almost certainly some kind of dream everything that they were feeling was very real. It was all a part of them and that couldn't go unnoticed or be ignored. She got up and slowly walked over to where Rodney was standing and her breath caught in her throat when she looked at the baby girl that lay in her counterparts arms.

"This is like a dream. How can we be feeling all of this? How can we be reacting like this?" She asked Rodney emotionally.

"Because it's a part of us. We're experiencing all of this just by watching it. It's bound to cause a reaction because this is what we keep buried and now we have to see it all brought to the surface."

"She's beautiful." Elizabeth whispered as she looked at the child amazed at how small she was and by her tiny little fingers and toes.

"She really is." Rodney agreed.

All were interrupted as the doors opened and Major John Shepphard, Teyla, and Lieutenant Aiden Ford entered the room carrying balloons and teddies. It was only when they got to the bed that Elizabeth and Rodney noticed another Ford and Shepphard standing by the doorway watching the whole thing and looking totally perplexed.

"John?" Elizabeth called over to her friend.

Shepphard did a double take when he noticed Elizabeth and Rodney standing there by their counterparts. He then noticed Carson and Emilie sitting chatting in the corner.

"What the hell is going on here?" Shepphard asked as the group all walked over to each other.

"No-one's entirely sure." Carson replied as he walked over with Emilie.

Shepphard looked at them and frowned.

"You two are holding hands now?" He commented as he noticed that their hands were linked.

Beckett and Emilie smiled.

"The last thing I remember is feeling really dizzy and I remember seeing Major Shepphard collapse. Then everything went black and I woke up here." Ford explained.

"Wherever here is." Shepphard commented. "Any ideas?" He asked the group.

"It appears to be some sort of dream Atlantis where we've all woken up to see ourselves living some of our deepest desires." Rodney told him as he and Elizabeth walked over.

"How's that even possible?" John Shepphard asked.

"Halling told me back on Atlantis that the drink he was handing out is said to make you aware of your inner desires. How is it possible? I don't know. All I know is we've all woken up here and we've all seen things...personal things." Elizabeth explained.

"Yeah I can relate to that." John replied smiling smugly.

"What is that smile for?" Rodney asked him curiously.

"He came round to see something rather x-rated going on between he and Teyla." Ford told them all.

Rodney rolled his eyes and the others laughed.

"What about you Ford? What did you see?" Rodney asked the young Lieutenant.

"Our team discovered the first step to destroying the Wraith.... And I have a band here." He told them grinning. "A band?" Shepphard teased raising his eyebrows.

"I think it's a good idea." Emilie replied. "We need something like that to raise our spirits after a hard day."

"Thank you Emilie." Ford told her grateful that someone had stuck up for him.

"What about you Beckett?" Shepphard then asked.

"Why don't you take a look?" The Scotsman replied motioning to his counterpart who was sitting with his fiancee on his lap and patting her stomach.

"Very romantic." Shepphard teased. "I always thought you were a bit of a softie."

"There's nothing wrong with wanting to meet a nice young lass and to have a family as well as a good career." Beckett replied.

"Emilie..." Shepphard prompted.

"You're looking at it Major Shepphard. We came round together and saw ourselves together. I see what he sees." She explained.

"And you two...you...wow." Shepphard said in shock as he looked at Elizabeth and Rodney and then their counterparts who were proudly showing off their new baby daughter to their friends.

"That's all you're going to say? No teasing? No sarcastic remarks" Rodney asked perplexed.

"Like the good Doctor said McKay there's nothing wrong with wanting to meet someone you love and to have a good family as well as a good career." Shepphard replied. "Knowing that you want the same as everyone else does...it's a good thing. It's nothing to be ashamed of." He told the man reassuringly.

"Even I thought you'd have more to say about this than that." Elizabeth told the Major.

"Oh I could say more, but it would be to wind up McKay and not for any other reason. None of us can help what's in our hearts can we? And if for you it's this and each other then who I am to tease you about it. You two look happy here with your child and with each other and your happiness is all that matters to your friends. I won't say that it doesn't shock me because it really does..."

"It's that hard to believe is it?" Rodney muttered.

"Well I had no idea that you two cared about each other like this that's all." Shepphard replied.

"John..." Elizabeth said softly.

"This has been really hard on everyone involved. It's really personal and because we're friends it's all interlinked..." Beckett started to explain.

"We'd just really appreciate it if..." Rodney started.

"I know. We've all got a lot to work through after this. If it could just be considered a dream it would be fine but these are our feelings involved here. This has all been created by what's inside us." Shepphard commented.

"I guess it's not so bad for me because I haven't seen the kind of thing that all of you have but I promise I won't say a word."

Elizabeth nodded gratefully.  
"And I won't either. If Teyla finds out what I saw..." Shepphard said pulling a face.

The group of six turned to face their counterparts and watched as they interacted. It was obvious they were all a close group of friends. Teyla was sitting with John and was chatting to Elizabeth about the birth; Ford was holding the baby in his arms and pulling faces at her. Beckett was taking care of another patient with Emilie's help and chatting to his friends and the patient about his impending fatherhood while he worked while Rodney was sitting with Elizabeth who was still enveloped in his arms. It was a picture of contentment.

"We look like a big family." Elizabeth commented as she looked at them all.

"I guess we all are. We spend every moment of each day in each other's company. We trust each other with our lives. How can you do that and not become like a family?" Ford asked.

"The laddie has a point." Beckett agreed still holding Emilie's hand.

John walked over to where their counterparts were sitting and looked at the little girl.

"She is the cutest little girl I've seen guys. Ford come take a look at her."

Ford walked over and looked at her.

"He's right Doctor Weir. She's lovely."

"That's not a bad voice Ford." Shepphard then teased him as Ford's counterpart started to sing to the little girl who was looking up at him with her piercing green eyes. "Look at you all cute with a baby." Ford turned away embarrassed.

"So what do we do now?" Ford asked the group curiously as he and Shepphard made their way back to their friends.

They all looked at each other and for the first time realised that they truly had no idea. 


	5. Chapter 5

It had now been six hours since Rebecca's birth and the group still hadn�t returned home. They�d spent the first couple of hours in the infirmary watching as their counterparts met little Rebecca Elise but had left when John, Teyla and Ford had gone because Rebecca had fallen asleep in her tired mothers arms and Rodney had decided that Elizabeth needed to rest. They all felt that though this was all something like a dream they�d already infringed on more personal moments than they should an so had walked around their new version of Atlantis looking for any more people in the same situation as them. By the end of the six hours they had found almost 30 people that had woken up to find themselves stranded there.

Not knowing what to do the thirty strong group had made their way to the function hall deciding that they needed to try, as a group, to come up with any idea that could to get them back home. Of course all had realised that it was pretty futile. They�d need the help of an Athosian but none of the Athosians had been affected as the Earth team had. Elizabeth doubted that even Halling would know exactly why the drink had affected them the way it had.

When they reached the function hall they realised that like back home, there was a celebration going on. The hall was absolutely filled with people. Nearly every one of them could pick out themselves amongst the crowd. Doctor Beckett was dancing with Emilie, John Shepphard was dancing with Teyla, and Lieutenant Aiden Ford was playing the music with some other of Atlantis� inhabitants...

�I bet our party finished hours ago.� Ford commented.

�I should hope so considering that most of the people who went to it probably collapsed.� Rodney McKay replied.

�I wonder if they�re any closer to figuring out how to bring us round.� Elizabeth Weir commented trying to summon up some hope that they would find a way back to their Atlantis rather than having to remain on this dream like version.

�I hope so. I mean what are we going to do if we have to stay like this forever?� John Shepphard asked.

�I don�t even want to think about that.� Elizabeth replied.

Rodney put a hand on her back tenderly.  
�This can�t be permanent. You have to remember that.� He told her hoping to soothe her in some way.

�We�ve been here for over six hours Rodney. It�s starting to feel permanent don�t you think?� Carson Beckett replied.

�I just want to go home.� Emilie told them getting upset. �I�m so tired. How is that even possible?�

�We�re all tired Emilie.� Elizabeth told the young woman. She walked up to her and put an arm around her comfortingly. �We�ll bet back to Atlantis I promise you.� She added though unsurely.

�But how?� The young woman asked echoing the question that was in everybody's mind.

�Come here lass.� Beckett whispered softly as he pulled the young woman into his arms. He smiled at Elizabeth gratefully.

Elizabeth noticed that all of the people who had been trapped there for hours looked on the verge of giving up hope. Many sat down tiredly and chatted with their friends. Beckett led Emilie to some steps, which they sat on watching everything that was going on in the hall. Shepphard and Ford went to watch the other Ford and the band play amongst the many people that didn�t even know that they were there. Once again Rodney and Elizabeth were left alone.

�You�re probably sick to death of hearing me say this but how are you doing?� He asked her concerned.

�I feel like a failure Rodney. On top of all of this, on top of everything we�ve seen and everything we�re feeling I can�t get them home.�

�Neither can I. Neither can Beckett or Shepphard...�

�But I�m the leader. I should be able to....�

Rodney put a finger over her lips to quieten her.

�Listen to me.� He told her putting his hands on the sides of her arms. �This is not your fault. You could not have known that this was going to happen. How can you find a way for us to go home when just the same as us you don�t know how we got here or where we are? You haven�t failed anyone here.�

�It�s all been so hard.� She told him tearfully.

�I know it has. You think any of us wanted our true desires played out like this in front of the people that we care about? No. But it�s happened and we have to learn from it. We�ve all gone through this, many of us together. You�re not alone in what you�re feeling I promise you and you�re not going to be alone when we get back.�

�You can�t possibly know what I�m feeling.� She told him sternly. �You can�t have any idea. Did you leave anybody back at home?� She asked him knowing that he hadn�t and realising as soon as she said it that it would hurt him.

He shook his head a little sadly.

�Well I did. And now I�ve come here and learnt that he�s not the person that I really desire. Do you know how hard that is for me to deal with? Do you know how awful I feel about this? I just really didn�t need all of this right now. �

Rodney just looked at her completely shocked and hurt.

�Well I�m sorry that after everything we�ve been through during these past few hours you feel so awful about caring for me. Elizabeth I truly am sorry, but we�ve seen this for a reason and for once it�s not my fault.� He told her a little angrily and she could hear the total hurt in his voice.

�Rodney.� She called softly as he walked away from her. �Rodney.� She shouted again loudly her heart feeling as if it had broken when she realised that she may have lost one person on Atlantis who meant the world to her.

All of her team turned to face her as she shouted but he didn�t. He walked off amongst the crowd as his friends watched sadly, leaving an equally upset Elizabeth behind him.

Feeling unable to stand up anymore Elizabeth leant against a wall and slid down on to her knees. She could feel tears welling up behind her eyes but she wouldn�t let them fall. She couldn�t afford to. The people she had been brought here with needed her to be strong. They needed her to have hope, and even if she was completely broken inside she could never show them that she was beginning to lose it. It was one of the burdens of being a leader. She always had to appear strong and hopeful to inspire her team to do the same even when that hope seemed far away.

Suddenly the music in the hall came to a halt and clapping and cheering could be heard. Elizabeth got up and walked over to Beckett and Emilie who could see what the cause of the commotion was from where they were sitting.

�What�s going on?� She asked them and they noticed her voice was choked with unshed tears.

�The party�s to celebrate Rebecca�s birth and your engagement.� Carson explained.

�They�ve just brought Rebecca down to show everyone. Look...� Emilie told her pointing as Rodney and Elizabeth walked through the crowds.

Rodney had his arm around his tired fiancee lovingly and Elizabeth was carrying little Rebecca, who was dressed in a hooded babygro with teddy bear ears sewn on to it.

They watched as Rodney led Elizabeth to a chair and helped her sit down. He kissed her and then his daughter on the forehead and made his way to the stage where Ford was standing with other members of the band.

�Speech.� Carson Beckett shouted as his friend got on the stage cheered along by Teyla and Shepphard.

Emilie, who was in her fianc�'s arms, swatted him playfully. She smiled as Carson kissed her.

Rodney looked around the room shyly, quietly thanking Ford when the young man handed him a microphone. He looked at Elizabeth who smiled encouragingly at him.

�Good evening everyone. As you all know I have a tendency to ramble on about nothing in particular so I promise that I�ll make this as short as I can. First of all I wanted to say thank you to everyone who has sent cards and gifts down to the infirmary for Elizabeth and the baby. They�re very much appreciated and we�re so thankful that we have so many people here who care enough to do that. For anyone who hasn�t heard; the reason that we're here tonight is that Elizabeth gave birth to our baby daughter Rebecca Elise early this afternoon....�

The room erupted in more claps and cheers.

�I�m also overjoyed to announce that Elizabeth has agreed to become my wife. So as well as being given the most beautiful and precious baby girl today, the beautiful woman that I love is now my fiancee.�

The room erupted in claps and cheers again for the happy couple.

�I�d also like to announce that Rebecca's godfather Dr Carson Beckett and his fiancee Emilie are expecting a baby of their own. So I hope that everyone will join me in a toast to my beautiful fiancee who has given me a love I thought I�d never find, to my beautiful Rebecca and to Carson and Emilie. Cheers.�

�Cheers!� Everyone shouted loudly and clapped again.

�Now tonight we have a once in a life time treat for you. It�s either going to really suck or be really nice. If it sucks we do apologise. Emilie if you will...� Rodney motioned.

Carson looked at Emilie curiously as she walked up to the stage and took the microphone off Rodney. Rodney then sat down at the piano as Ford picked up his guitar and music began to play. A few seconds later Emilie began to sing watched lovingly by a surprised and moved Carson Beckett.

What do you do when love comes along and offers your heart a chance to move on with no guarantees, no safety net, trust what you feel, you take that first step just close your eyes and reach for the moment before it slips by here is your second chance, take it and fly

As the words echoed through the hall the many couples of Atlantis started to dance. Carson walked over to where Elizabeth was sitting with her daughter and sat down and both watched their lovers; amazed by the talents that they possessed which had never been seen before.

Meanwhile all of the spectators who were also in the hall were watching, many silently wondering if their colleagues had the same talents as the ones on this version of Atlantis. For a few brief moments their plight was forgotten.

Carson looked at Emilie curiously.

�Do you sing?� He asked her. �Because here lass you sing like an angel.�

She smiled.

�There�s a lot you�ve still got to find out about me Doctor.� She told him cheekily. �If you want to.� She added softly.

He smiled at her and cupped her cheek in his palm.

Elizabeth meanwhile found herself completely absorbed in Rodney's piano playing. She knew that her Rodney had wanted to be a pianist and could play the piano but she�d never heard him. It was another part of him that he kept hidden away after the hurt of being told by people he cared about that he�d never be good enough to do it. Hearing his counterpart play was the most beautiful sound that she had ever heard and she hoped that one day that her Rodney would feel comfortable enough to play for her.

The weight of the world, the need to survive has made you believe that you got no right and out of the blue, you meet someone who offers a place warm as the sun just close your eyes reach for the moment before it slips by here is your second chance, take it and fly

Rodney McKay stood hidden amongst the crowd listening to the words of the song. For him it described what Elizabeth had become to him. How out of the blue she had come into his life and offered him such warmth and the motivation to be a better man just by caring about how he was feeling and by treating him with respect and care instead of annoyance. 

He hated that they�d argued. He hated so much that she was going through all of the anguish that she was because of what they were seeing. It was hard for him too and for all of the others that they had arrived on this Atlantis with, but for her he could see it was tearing her apart. She�d left someone behind on Earth and to see someone else taking the place that you�d expect that person to hold in your heart was bound to be difficult.

Being leader he knew that it would have been easier for her to go through all of this alone. At least then she wouldn�t have had to admit to him what she had seen and she could have pushed it all away. Their desires involved each other though. They were entwined. He meant to her what she meant to him and so they�d had to go through all of this together just like Carson and Emilie had. That meant that neither of them could brush any of it under the carpet and pretend it wasn�t there because it had come from within them and it was a desire shared.

He still felt hurt about what she had said. He couldn�t completely understand what she was going through because unlike her he didn�t have anyone back home but he could understand why she was upset. He wasn�t so unfeeling that he couldn�t understand that. What hurt him most was that she�d made it all seem like an inconvenience. She�d made it seem like both of their feelings were an irritation that she didn�t want to acknowledge and were feelings which shouldn�t be acknowledged.

Elizabeth cared for him, he truly knew that she did but right now it just seemed that like everybody else in his life she would rather ignore those feelings and pretend that they didn�t exist because it was the easy option. That hurt him deeply. He had found someone who he knew that he could love a great deal and that he already did care about more than he probably should and he didn't want to have to pretend that those feelings weren�t there. Especially after seeing all that they had that day and after finding out what was in her heart as well as his own. But then if they hadn�t ended up seeing it he wasn�t sure he would have said anything to her. He would never have believed that she could care about him too and would rather have kept it all to himself to stop himself getting hurt as he now had.

Elizabeth had a lot more to lose than he did. He knew that and he knew that was part of the reason why this was all so hard for her but it still didn�t stop him from hurting. Love didn�t come easily for him and love from others for him was even more rare an occurrence. Knowing how much he loved her only hurt him more when he thought about their argument and how hard it was for him to love a person. As hard as it was for him to love, somehow he�d fallen in love with her and it hurt him to know that she currently felt as bad about her feelings for him as she did.

Just when you think love is a distant dream oh, fate give you wings just close your eyes and reach for the moment before it slips by here is your second chance, take it and fly

As Elizabeth looked around the hall her eyes settled on a forlorn figure amongst the dancing couples. She couldn�t believe how much she had hurt him by what she had said and all she wanted was to talk to him and to tell him that she hadn�t meant to hurt him with her words. She just wanted him to understand that she had to work through all of this. She wanted him to understand that she didn�t want to hurt Simon back home. She wanted him to understand that she cared for him more than he could ever know but that she felt awful that a man who had played such a large part in her life back home didn�t seem to hold that same place anymore.

This morning she had woken up expecting it to be a normal day. As normal as could be expected on Atlantis anyway. She most definitely hadn�t expected to collapse and then to wake up on another version of Atlantis where her hearts desires played out before her very eyes.

Her feelings for Rodney had been growing for a long time. They�d come along at a time where she�d felt so lonely being a leader and where any kind of emotion like that felt so distant from her. Working with her was one of the most arrogant, egotistical, whining Scientists that she�d ever met; a person so much more complex than any other person she�d encountered in her life and a person who she never imagined she�d get close to. He could be completely tiring, brash and loud and yet to her he had become one of the most precious people in her life. With him in her life she never felt lonely because she knew that she could be open with him and she knew that he was there when she needed him no matter what anybody else thought of him.

From the very moment that they met on Antarctica a bond had been forged between the pair of them. There was an immediate connection and it was as if each could sense what the other needed. She could see through the front that he put on for others and knew that underneath it all he was a tender, caring, insecure and somewhat shy man who was so afraid of getting hurt. It was a part of him that not many people seemed to see and one that he certainly didn't reveal to others around him but to her it was revealed in lots of little ways. In the way that she seemed to be one of the only ones who could calm him down when he was panicking. In the way that he softly called her name. In the way that he wasn�t afraid to offer her comfort or reassurance when it was needed no matter what other people might think of the usually arrogant scientist showing a more caring nature. It was revealed in the way that he would give his life for hers. In the way that he had sat with her for hours back on Antarctica when everything seemed so new and overwhelming. In the way that he had opened his heart to her earlier on that night and had allowed her to open hers like so many times before. In the way that he tenderly touched her when things seemed overwhelming. It was as if she brought out the best in him and every time she saw that tenderness and bravery and care in his interaction with others her feelings for him grew. Back on Antarctica she knew that she had met a special and unique man, but she�d never thought back then that to her he would be so important.

As she thought of all those things that he had done for her, and how much tenderness and care that he had in him to give Elizabeth realised what she could lose by pushing him away. For those past seven or so hours he had been her rock. He had taken care of her, he had checked on her, he had listened to her and talked to her, he had soothed her, he had worried for her and he hadn�t cared who saw it. For those past few hours the arrogant, sarcastic Rodney McKay had disappeared and instead had appeared the gentle man that she so often saw. He had grown so much because of her and his care for her. How could she let someone so special go?

She noticed Rodney's eyes looking up at her and her heart fluttered in her chest.

�I�m so sorry.� She mouthed to him sincerely.

Elizabeth swore that she saw him smile but then she gasped as he collapsed on the floor. She immediately started to run towards him but then noticed that all the others that had come here with her had also started to collapse on to the ground, and then her world also went black. 


	6. Chapter 6

Earlier that evening sleep had been threatening to come easily for the residents of Atlantis but now it was far away as all pondered the various things they had witnessed during their comatose states.

All had come around over seven hours after they had first collapsed. Halling and the Athosians had watched over them with medical teams as they lay comatose in the function hall, the team not able to move all of those stricken as there were so many of them. Instead they had taken Elizabeth, Rodney, Beckett, Ford, Emilie and John to the infirmary for tests and monitoring and had to bring pillows, blankets, monitors and a lot of infirmary equipment into the function hall turning into some sort of make shift hospital for the stricken that lay in there. Intravenous drips had been put into the arms of everyone suffering from the phenomenon to prevent dehydration as most of the people left on Atlantis battled to find out what was going on.

So much remained unexplained about what had happened that night. Medical teams could find no reason for the collapsing of so many and the Athosians had no idea why their drink had affected so many the way it had. All that was known was that a lot of lives had changed because of it and that for those hours a large number of people had visited the same version of Atlantis in a dream like state to see their inner desires played out.

Doctor Carson Beckett sat in his quarters feeling restless. Sleep wouldn�t come no matter how much he willed it to. All he kept thinking of were the things that he had seen and experienced that day.

His thoughts drifted to his counterpart and how content he had seemed. Settling down was something Carson had thought about but hadn�t really spoken about much with anyone. The idea of meeting someone that he loved and having a family was always something that he had held dear to his heart. It was something that he had always wanted but he hadn�t realised how happy the idea of it all made him until he had come face to face with it happening. Being on Atlantis could be lonely and sometimes he just craved someone to share lonely days and nights with and to one day have a family with the woman that he loved.

His thoughts then drifted to Emilie. Since their arrival on Atlantis he had admired that pretty young woman from afar. His heart had fluttered every time she laughed or smiled and every time she spoke to him he could feel butterflies in his stomach. They had gotten on so easily straight away. She tolerated his humour and his gentle teasing and responded to it with teasing of her own and that was something he respected her for as well as her intelligence and dignity.

That relationship that had grown between them was the reason they�d found themselves experiencing everything together that day. He knew that their care for each other and their desire for each other was the reason that they had seen themselves together as they had and also the reason why they had woken up beside each other on that strange version of Atlantis. He was so grateful that she had been there to experience it all with him, and also very aware of the meaning as to why she had been there. He had come away from it all realising just how much he wanted to protect her and take care of her, and just how much she meant to him.

Spending that time with her had been one of the most profound experiences of his life. Seeing his counterpart so happy had made Carson realise what he wanted out of life and seeing it all with Emilie at his side and seeing her reactions to everything and listening to her speak about everything had made him realise just how special she was to him. When she had broken down and cried it felt as though his heart was going to break and when she had smiled he felt as if his heart was going to burst and now in his room without her there he realised he had never felt so lonely.  
Carson sighed and lay back on his bed. Thoughts about the day were still whizzing through his mind at such speed that he wondered how he�d ever keep track of them all.

It was then that he realised someone was pressing the buzzer to his quarters. He rubbed his eyes tiredly.

�Come in.� he called out wearily.

Emilie peeped her head through the door and smiled at him and he could feel his heart skipping a beat as he looked at the beautiful young woman.

�I thought you would have been sick to the back teeth of seeing me today.� He told her, not able to wipe the smile off his face.

Emilie shook her head and fiddled nervously with a ring that she wore as she entered and the door closed behind her.

�Are you all right lass?� He asked her concerned.

�My heads still spinning about everything today.� Emilie told him wrapping her arms around herself.

�Mine too.� He agreed sitting up on the bed and turning his attention to her. �You can�t sleep either?�

Emilie shook her head.

�I�m tired but I just can�t. Everyone�s the same. Most of Atlantis is still up right now.� She told him as she thought of all the people she had passed who were deep in conversation on her way to his quarters.

�What brought you here lass?� He asked her softly.

�I just couldn�t sleep and after today I guess here was the only place I wanted to be.� She told him shyly. �I was worried you�d be asleep. I didn�t want to wake you.�

�I wouldn�t have minded if you had.� He told her. �I�ve been thinking about you a lot.�

Emilie blushed and walked over to him. She sat down at his side.

�I wanted to thank you for today. I don�t think I could have gotten through it without you there. If I had been alone I would have been petrified. I guess I was a little petrified but I had you and it made it all okay.�

�The reason we weren�t alone...You understand why that was...?� He asked her touched by her openness.

She smiled and cupped his cheek in her palm.

�I know why it was.� She told him looking into his beautiful eyes. �Carson what we saw...It was pretty amazing.�

He nodded.

�And the fact that we saw it together...that was also pretty amazing.� She added.

�It was.� He told her. �The desires we saw...I�ve never shared them with anybody before but sharing them with you felt right somehow. Like it was you who I was meant to share them with.�

�They were my desires too Carson. They came from both of us. That�s what makes them so special.� Emilie told him smiling.

�We seemed really happy together there didn�t we? With the engagement and the baby. Deep down those were things I always wanted you know? But I never met the right girl.�

�I know what you mean. My career is so important to me but sometime in the future I want to settle down and have a family. I want it all I suppose.�

�How are you dealing with it all now? You were pretty upset earlier.� Carson remarked concerned for her well being.

Emilie sighed tiredly.

�I�m okay I guess. Seeing all that was like experiencing every emotion at once. It was hard. And to see Dr McKay and Dr Weir going through what they were was awful. I just got so tired and I just wanted to come back here...but now I�m back...�

�What?� He asked her quietly.

�Now I�m back...I miss having you with me. When you asked me to dance tonight...I just...I was so happy. I�ve liked you since we arrived here but I figured you�d think it was just a crush and brush it off if you ever found out. I never imagined...�

�That I�d feel the same?� He asked her looking right into her eyes.

Emilie nodded.

�You really took care of me today Carson. You made sure I was all right. You held me when I was upset. I mattered to you...�

�Of course you mattered. Emilie you�ve always mattered. I hated to see you so upset. You�re so beautiful when you�re happy.�

Emilie looked at him touched.

�I always thought that you were a lovely man but today...today I learnt how true it was. You were my anchor today and I�m just so...�

Carson put a hand on her lips tenderly wanting to say something to her.

�You helped me too lass. Believe me. Having you there with me made it easier for me too. It�s not what we saw that was uncomfortable for me. What we saw...it did something to my heart. It was just the circumstances. It was the not understanding and not knowing when we were going to come round. I�m not that good at telling people my feelings. I�ve got a big mouth but a lot of the time a lot doesn�t get said and when I�m around someone I care about a great deal I turn into an idiot. I feel blessed that our feelings brought us together today because you got to see what I feel for you...I probably would have left it until too late if Dr Weir hadn�t of gotten me to dance with you and we hadn�t gone...wherever we went.�

�And I got to see that you wouldn�t hurt me. I feel the same Carson.� Emilie replied honestly. �So what do we do now?� She asked him shyly.

Carson leant towards her and kissed her softly on the lips, propping her chin up with his thumb and gently resting his other hand on the back of her neck. When they parted Emilie rested her forehead against his and stroked his cheek with the back of her hand. She smiled and the smile was matched by one of his own.

�I can think of something we could do.� He whispered. �You know, seeing as we can�t sleep anyway.�

�And what�s that?� Emilie asked him raising her eyes brows and softly running her hands down his back.

His body shuddered under her gentle touch.

Carson ran his fingers through Emilie's hair and gently pushed some stray strands of hair out of her eyes. He then moved closer to her so their bodies were almost touching.

�How about a game of doctors and nurses?� He teased.

Emilie smiled and then they kissed, this time more passionately, before falling back onto the bed and into each other�s arms and hearts. 


	7. Chapter 7

Elizabeth Weir stood outside the laboratory quietly watching the sleeping figure inside. She smiled a little as she saw him mumble in his sleep, thinking how typical it was that Rodney McKay was fast asleep after the days events while everybody else seemed to be wide awake.

She had left her quarters after an hour or so of trying to sleep because over and over again their argument kept playing in her mind. Every time it did all of the sweet and caring things he had done for her that day and since their arrival on Atlantis flashed before her and made her feel awful.

She kept seeing baby Rebecca and how happy their counterparts had been on that Atlantis. She kept remembering every touch she had felt while Rodney was trying to comfort or reassure her. She remembered how he had listened to her and opened up to her and how wanted and needed he made her feel. Most of all though she remembered his face when she had snapped at him; and she remembered how when they had come round back on their own Atlantis he had just walked off without even looking at her.

With sleep far from her mind Elizabeth had found herself walking aimlessly through the corridors. So many people filled them; many in the same boat as she was and unable to sleep because of all they�d had to face that day which had come from within their own hearts. People had been made to face up to things that they had kept buried deep inside them and pushed back for whatever reasons and now the nights events were starting to take their toll. She had hoped to at least wear herself out enough to be able to go back to her quarters and get some sleep but instead she had found herself here watching the sleeping figure of the man that held her heart.

It had been hard to see all of the things that she had, not because she was repulsed by what she saw or because she felt them to be bad things but because she felt so guilty for seeing them. Since their arrival on Atlantis when she had realised what Rodney was starting to mean to her she pushed all of those feelings to the back of her heart as she tried to work through what she wanted and what she would do if his feelings were the same for her. At the same time she was worried that those feelings would be a problem in regards to her being in charge of Rodney and his team and so she chose to push them away. She had Simon back home and she couldn�t stand the thought of betraying him and she didn�t want her feelings to be a distraction. But her feelings for Rodney had become so strong during recent months. She didn�t realise just how much until she had seen what she had that day and seen a whole other side to him and she didn�t know whether she could just push them away anymore. She didn�t know if she could just ignore them. She knew that she would be hurting Simon if they ever were to return home but then if she truly loved him would she have left him in the first place? All she knew was that she had hurt Rodney so much earlier on that night and that she was finding it difficult to live with the knowledge that he was hurting because of her.

She was the one that he opened up to. She was the one that he was so tender with and cared for. He would give his life for her and he never expected anything in return. She was the one who was a part of his hearts desires and he was a part of hers. How could she continue to ignore it when doing so now was hurting her so much? But then how could she hurt someone so special to her back home?

Elizabeth sighed and leant against the doorframe. He was hunched over his desk and he must have been so uncomfortable but she supposed after such a hard and revealing night that this was one of the only places now that he actually felt safe and in control of what he was doing.

They had all become more vulnerable since their experience. The other people around them had seen to the very depths of their colleagues� souls and for Rodney that was a very scary thing. He was so used to putting on a strong, sarcastic; no nonsense front, which allowed him to push people away that to have it revealed that deep down he wanted a family and wanted to be loved, was something terrifying for him. He wasn't used to people seeing him that way and he didn�t like to reveal his emotions and feelings for fear of getting hurt. It was a side of him that only got shown in glimpses to those around him. Now he couldn�t deny that it existed and so his world had been turned upside down.

Elizabeth quietly stepped into the lab being careful not to wake the sleeping man. She pulled off the sweatshirt that she was wearing and folded it up and then as gently as she could she lifted up his head and placed the sweatshirt underneath it like a pillow. 

She smiled as he softly sighed in his sleep.

Elizabeth pulled up a chair and just sat there watching him as he peacefully slept. She studied all of the expressions that appeared on his face affectionately, the sight warming her heart. It was nice to see him so peaceful sometimes. �I�m sorry that I hurt you today Rodney.� She whispered to the sleeping figure, knowing that he wouldn�t hear her but needing to say it. �I never wanted to hurt you like that. You�re a very special man in my life...that�s part of the reason why I said what I did. It�s hard for me because of Simon. I feel guilty for what I feel for you...like I�m betraying him and to see myself so happy there having your child and to see what I wanted...and to see me having it with you.... It made me feel guilty that�s all. It doesn�t make me feel any less for you. It makes me feel bad that I could just forget him and I need to work through that.�

�You haven�t forgotten about him. That�s why it�s so hard for you.� Whispered a groggy voice in reply.

Elizabeth looked at Rodney and saw that he was looking up at her through his eyelashes. His eyes were still half closed with sleep.

�I thought you were asleep.� She commented quietly; feeling slightly embarrassed.

�I was but you can only stay asleep for so long before your back starts giving you agony for lying like this.� He told her sitting up and rubbing his eyes then stretching his back. �Okay ow.�

�You should go and get some proper rest.� Elizabeth told him as he rubbed his back, wincing in pain.

�I didn�t think I was that tired. I just keep playing today over and over in my head.� He admitted.

�Me too and most of Atlantis it seems. The whole city is up. I just passed Emilie on her way to see Dr Beckett and John on his way to see Teyla. Everyone has something on their minds.�

Rodney nodded and looked at her wearily.

�How much did you hear?� She asked him looking at her feet.

�Pretty much all of it.� He replied poker faced, his piercing eyes looking deeply into her own. He wasn�t going to make this easy for her.

�Then you�ll know how sorry I am.� Elizabeth told him. �Rodney I....�

�You know I�m not so unfeeling that I can't understand why today was so hard for you. I understand completely. You have someone that you�re in love with back home and today you had to watch us together and having a child of our own. Something you probably would have been able to deal with more easily if it was Simon you saw and not me. I completely understood that all night. Why else do you think I was so worried about you?� He asked her.

�Rodney...�

�But you didn�t need to bring up my not having anyone Elizabeth. You think I don�t know that I push people away? Of course I do. I�m a pro at it. It stops me from getting hurt like I did earlier.� He told her. �And you think I�m not lonely? Of course I am. I just didn�t need to hear what a sad and pitiful person I was from you. You of all people.�

�I never said that.� She told him hurt.

�No. Not in so many words but it was implied. I always felt I could talk to you about everything. You and Carson are the only two people I feel like that with. I�m not afraid to be all that I am with you. I�m not afraid to care about you Elizabeth because you make me feel whole. You make me feel like a better man than I am. You let me be me and still know that there�s a better man underneath. But to hear you say you didn�t need what happened right now and to hear you say how awful you felt when you were seeing what was in your heart...when you were seeing what I meant to you...Do you have any idea how that made me feel?� He asked her.

�I hurt you Rodney. I know that.� She told him tearfully.

�You should know that because you did.� He almost shouted. �You made me feel like an inconvenience. You made me feel like an irritation to you. I saw what was in your heart...I saw an Atlantis where we were happy...and you just....�

�Rodney....�

�For the first time I felt as if you had the same opinion of me as everybody else.� He told her sadly. �I don�t want to be an annoyance with you like I am with them. I would never want that to happen and that's what I felt like. I felt like neither of our feelings mattered to you.�

�Rodney please don�t do this...�

�You know Elizabeth I have had a lot happen in my life. A lot that I haven�t shared with anyone and because of it it�s hard for me to love and it�s hard for me to accept love. I can�t help it. I don�t trust people to ever feel anything for me. But today you saw into my heart...Today you saw how I felt. It should have been special. But instead I feel like nothing...� He whispered turning away from her.

�You could never be nothing to me. You should never feel that way.� She told him tearfully. �And I am so, so, sorry about what I said. I am so sorry that it made you feel so badly about what you feel for me...about what I feel for you. I do feel it Rodney. What you saw it was a part of me. I can�t deny that.� She told him.

�You seem to be doing a pretty good job.� He replied sarcastically.

�No I�m not. That's why I feel so confused right now. Seeing what we saw today...seeing Rebecca and us engaged...seeing you so in awe over the birth of our baby...that stirred up more feelings in me than Simon ever did. With Simon I felt safe and wanted. But with you...with you I feel both of those things and more. I feel needed. I feel special. I feel safe and cared for. To be around someone who makes you feel like that is an amazing thing. There�s so much more to you Rodney...so much that only I seem to see and I love that.� She told him shyly. �I love that there are things about you that only I see.�

Rodney turned to face her.

�You feel safe with me?� Rodney asked her, his eyes wide and unbelieving.

�I feel so many things.� Elizabeth told him honestly. �Rodney what we saw I don�t regret seeing and what I feel...what we both feel... I don�t regret feeling and I hope with all my heart that you don�t either. I just...I just feel like I�m betraying Simon that's all and it hurts me to think like that. I need to decide what I want in regards to him and to us.�

�I can�t help you with that Elizabeth. I wish I could but I can�t. It has to be your choice and it has to be the right one but I want you to know that I don�t regret anything about today either. The only thing I do regret is walking away from you.� He told her, his cheeks reddening.

She smiled at his honesty.

�I would never push you into making a decision Elizabeth.� He told her, his voice softening. �As long as you know that I�m here whenever you need me that�s all that matters to me. It doesn�t matter how long it takes or if you decide that your heart lies with Simon. I want you to know that I�ll still be here the same as always because no matter what you choose nothing will ever stop me being your friend or stop me wanting to look out for you. I know when I�ve got something special in my life. I wouldn�t jeopardize that something for any reason and if you choose Simon I respect that.�

�I know you wouldn�t push me.� She told him shocked by how open he�d just been and how even if she chose Simon he�d still be there for her as he always was now. �I don�t want to lose you Rodney.� She told him looking right into his eyes. �When I realised how much I�d hurt you...it broke my heart. I couldn�t bear it if I lost you. I don�t think I could bear not to have a person in my life who would sacrifice so much just for the chance that I could be happy...even if it meant I wasn�t with him.�

Rodney slowly got up off his chair and walked over to her. He knelt carefully down in front of her and took her hands in his.  
�You�re not going to lose me.� He told her trying to reassure her. �All I ever want for you is for you to be happy. Even if it means not being with me. Even if we have seen all that we have seen. You�re too important to me for me to want to push you into making a decision that�s wrong for you.�

Elizabeth cupped his cheek in her hands and felt a tear roll down her cheek. He wiped it away with his thumb.

� I didn�t mean to upset you earlier Elizabeth. It�s just...You�re special to me and I thought that what we saw...I thought it repulsed you. I thought you�d rather it wasn�t me that you were seeing with you. I�m sorry I got angry.� 

Elizabeth ran a hand through his hair.

�Seeing us together there was the most natural thing in the world. How could it repulse me?� She asked him her eyes wide. �You�ve held my heart since Antarctica Rodney. It was just kind of scary to see the feelings that we have for each other play out right in front of our eyes where I can�t keep them locked away while I�m trying to figure out what to do in regards to Simon. That�s the reason I�ve been trying to push them away. That�s the reason I got angry because I wasn�t able to hide them anymore and I didn�t know what to do.�

�It�s similar for me you know. Everyone was aware today that they were seeing their deepest desires and their colleagues and they saw just how much I care for you. They saw that no matter how much I protest it that I do want a family one-day though whether I think I'd be a good father at the moment is questionable. They saw a side to me that I never let them see because I�m too afraid. I can�t hide behind my sarcasm in regards to any of that anymore. They all know what I feel. You know what I feel and what I want in life. It�s a scary thing for me to have revealed.� He explained to her.

�I know it is.� She reassured him. �And if it means anything at all to you I think you�d be a good father. When you saw that child being born and yourself holding her I could see that you would be a doting dad. It�d probably take some time for you to get the hang of it mind you, but it�d come right in the end.� She told him.

He smiled.

�I think you�d be a good mom too.� He admitted truthfully.

�I don�t know about that.� Elizabeth argued shyly.

�I do. You made a very beautiful mother to be.� He told her softly. �And I could see you going all gooey over the baby.� He teased.

�Like you weren�t.� She teased back.

�I�m glad that I got to share today with you Elizabeth. I�m glad it�s out in the open. I guess in a way we can thank Halling. I just wish you didn�t have such a hard choice to make.� He told her stroking her cheeks with his thumbs.

She closed her eyes and smiled at his gentle touch, her heart beating quickly in her chest as he softly caressed her skin. 

�You do know that I�m never going to be able to live any of this down.� He then added smiling.

�Does that worry you?� Elizabeth asked him curiously opening her eyes.

�Not really actually. A lot less than I thought it would. It�ll give me the opportunity to think up some more sarcastic responses to my peers anyway.� He said grinning.

�Yeah there is that.� Elizabeth replied nodding.

�Just remember that they bear no reflection on you. Whatever I answer back to them...It doesn�t change anything that I�ve said tonight or anything that I feel.�

�I know. You just like to keep things private.�

He nodded with a small smile.

�The fact that I�m having to think about this all...it doesn�t change what I feel for you either. You do know that don�t you Rodney?� She asked him.

He nodded in response.

�I know. It�s right that you want to think about Simon. You�re an amazing woman Elizabeth. We�re so far away from home and you�ve seen into your heart but you still have enough care and consideration to think about Simon. He�s very lucky to have you.� Rodney told her.

Elizabeth could feel tears welling up behind her eyes because of his words. Sometimes he could be so unselfish and this was one of those moments.

�Thank you.� She told him sincerely.

He smiled and got up, kissing her forehead tenderly. It was then that Elizabeth noticed him wince in pain and grab his back.

�Rodney what�s wrong?� She asked him worriedly.

�My back. I can't move. � He told her, his eyes wide with pain.

�Rodney stop playing around.� She scolded frowning.

He looked into her eyes and she could see that they were filled with pain. 

�You�re not kidding are you?� She asked him concerned.

He shook his head.

�I must have been lying funny. I really can�t move.� He told her through gritted teeth, as the pain became unbearable. �Get help please?� He pleaded.

�Rodney you�re going to be all right. I�ll go and get Carson.� She told him getting out of the chair she was sitting in and watching in horror as he fell to his knees.

�Hurry...� He pleaded with her.

Elizabeth had never been so scared in her life.

�I�ll be back as soon as I can okay? You�re going to be fine. I promise you.� She reassured him, kissing him on the top of his head before running through Atlantis to find her friend. 


	8. Chapter 8

Doctors� Elizabeth Weir and Carson Beckett walked through the corridors of Atlantis slowly, supporting Rodney as they made their way to his quarters. After spending almost two hours in the infirmary getting checked over and being given pain medication it had been decided that the best thing for him was plenty of rest and regular pain killers for a few hours and after two hours of whining about how much he hated the infirmary it had been decided that for the sanity of the infirmary staff the best place for him would be his quarters. He�d had a painful muscle spasm caused by the way he had been laying at his desk and was still suffering with his back now but Carson had agreed it was all right for him to rest in his own quarters, as long as there was someone there to keep an eye on him.

Elizabeth turned to look at Rodney as they slowly walked and she could see that he was suffering. She could also see that he felt himself to be a burden to them. He couldn�t even look at them. She felt her heart break when she realised that once again he felt like a burden in her life and Carson�s. She hated that he could think that of himself. She also hated to see him in so much pain. When he had collapsed on to his knees in agony it was as if her whole world fell apart.

�I�m really sorry Carson.� Rodney told him apologetically as he glanced at Emilie who was walking at Carson�s side holding his medication.

�Rodney you have no need to apologise. Things like this happen and I�m your Doctor and friend. You needed my help and I wanted to help you.� Carson reassured him.

�But you and Emilie...� Rodney whispered motioning to the young woman who turned to Rodney and smiled sympathetically.

�Rodney she�s a nurse. She understands. Besides I have a feeling we�re going to have many more opportunities to get to know each other better.� Carson explained to his friend.

�Oh really?� Rodney teased raising his eyebrows. �You really like this girl don�t you?� He asked quietly.

�Aye. I really do.� Carson told Rodney smiling proudly. �Here we are.� Carson then stated as they reached Rodney�s door.

Rodney opened the door as best as he could and let Elizabeth and Carson lead him over to his bed. They helped him sit down on it gently.

�It�s okay lass, I can stay with him if you want to go and get some sleep.� Carson told Elizabeth when he noticed how tired she looked.

�It�s fine.� Elizabeth reassured him. �I�ll stay. Besides I�m reasonably sure I interrupted something you�d like to get back to.� Elizabeth teased; noticing that Emilie was wearing one of Beckett�s shirts.

When Rodney had collapsed in pain she had run to Carson�s quarters to get his help and had a very flustered Carson and Emilie answer the door. As soon as they had heard what had happened they had come, no questions asked and with no anger over being interrupted and for that she was very grateful.

The Doctor blushed and smiled shyly.

�Aye. Only if you�re sure. I want you to come and get me if there are any problems but if he rests and keeps taking his medication he should be fine.� Carson told her.

Elizabeth nodded.

�Look why don�t you both go? You�re both tired and you both have other things to do. I�ll manage.� Rodney said feeling guilty, trying to pull his shoes of and groaning with frustration when it hurt him.

�You just scared me half to death. I�m not leaving you until I�m sure you�re going to be able to manage.� Elizabeth explained.

�Besides its Doctors orders to have someone stay with you and even if it wasn�t one of us would. That�s what friends are for.� Carson told Rodney patting him on the shoulder.

�Thank you.� Rodney said gratefully to them. He looked at the floor. �I guess I�m not used to the whole friend thing.� He told them sadly.

�I think you�re going to have to get used to it Dr McKay.� Emilie replied smiling warmly.

�Aye you are, the lass is right.� Carson agreed walking over to Emilie and putting his arm around her. �Well sleep beckons I think. If you need me don�t hesitate to come and find me.� Carson told Elizabeth.

Elizabeth nodded gratefully.

�Thank you Carson.�

The handsome Doctor smiled and nodded.

�Now behave yourself Rodney and get some rest. Don�t be giving the lass any trouble.� Carson teased.

Rodney pulled a face but then smiled.

�Yeah or I�m sure we could fin some pretty big needles to use in your next physical.� Emilie joked.

�And everyone�s a comedian.� Rodney replied sarcastically but still with a smile on his face. �Thank you.� He told them again sincerely.

�Any time. Good night...well good morning now. Make sure you get a few hours sleep. Both of you.� Carson told them as he and Emilie walked to the door and then left the quarters making their way back to the bed they had shared earlier on that evening and safe into each other arms.

Rodney sat silently after they left and looked at the floor. Elizabeth looked at him sadly.

�Rodney McKay does it again.� He told her quietly. �Sorry for all of this.� He said softly.

�You have no reason to apologise. You know you don�t need to do things like this to get my attention.� She teased but he didn�t smile.

�Somehow I always end up messing things up.� He told her quietly looking at the floor.

Elizabeth walked over to him and knelt down in front of him. She tilted his chin up with her fingers so that he was looking at her.

�You have messed nothing up. Like Lieutenant Ford says, stuff happens. People hurt themselves Rodney.� She told him hoping that he would take what she was saying into his heart and stop beating himself up over it all.

�By lying awkwardly?� He asked her raising his eyebrows.

She couldn�t help but smile at his expression.

�Sometimes yes.� She replied warmly ruffling his hair.

�Sorry you got stuck here.� He then told her sighing.

�I didn�t get stuck here. I�ve chosen to be here. Like Carson said this is what friends do. You have friends Rodney.�

�I don�t know why.� He replied sadly. �No matter how hard I try I just seem to make more work for you all.�

�You�re just feeling sorry for yourself.� She commented taking one of his hands in her own. �You have saved our asses countless times Rodney. You have been my rock during these hard few months where I�ve been trying to find my feet. You�ve made us smile when times were hard. You�re an integral part of Atlantis and a well-respected person and a kind person when you want to be. Even if you are sometimes hard work it doesn�t mean we like you any less. Look at Carson. He hardly ever shuts up but we like him. You have friends because you�re a great guy to be around no matter what you believe and no matter how hard you try to push us away we�ll keep believing that.� Elizabeth reassured him and he nodded quietly.

�Could you pass me my t-shirt?� He then asked her. �It�s just over there on top of that pile of boxes.�

Elizabeth looked around the quarters and noticed how there were still many boxes of items that had yet to be sorted out. �Typical Scientist� she thought to herself as she spotted his t-shirt and walked over to the pile of boxes to pick it up �He probably spends more time in his lab than his own quarters�

When she turned around to face him again she could see him struggling to pull his sweatshirt over his head. She couldn�t help but giggle.

�What are you trying to do?� She asked him laughing.

He stopped what he was doing and looked at her grumpily, his face just visible as he had his shirt half way over his head.

�I�m hot. I�m trying to get this off and it hurts.� He explained sighing.

Elizabeth walked over to him.

�Let me help you.� She told him softly standing in front of him.

�I can do it.� He told her grumpily trying to pull the sweatshirt over his head and failing miserably.

�Rodney come on.� She told him handing him the t-shirt she had picked up for him.

She could hear him sigh even though the sweatshirt currently covered his face. She smiled.

�Was that a yes I can help you?� She asked him.

The sweatshirt moved up and down which she took as the answer yes to her question.

Elizabeth took hold of the bottom of the sweatshirt and gently started to pull it over his head, being careful all the time not to hurt him. When she started to see bare skin she realised that he had nothing else on underneath and couldn�t help but think how well built and muscular he was underneath his uniform.

As Elizabeth gently pulled the sweatshirt over his chest her fingertips brushed his skin and she could feel his body shudder under her touch. It was as if an electric shock passed through them both. He was so sensitive to her touch. For a moment she just stood there amazed that her fingers brushing his skin could cause his body to react like that.

He pulled the sweatshirt down a bit and she could see that he was blushing. She could also see the fear in his eyes.

�I�m sorry.� He apologised shyly. �I uh...I...sorry.� He apologised again uncomfortably, inwardly cursing himself that Elizabeth had now seen first hand what effect she had on him and hoping that he hadn�t crossed the line.

�It�s okay.� She reassured him, her heart beating so fast. No one had ever reacted to her touch like that before. Not even Simon and to see the effect she�d had on Rodney took her breath away.

Elizabeth took hold of the sweatshirt again and carefully pulled it over his head. Rodney found himself blushing again when the shirt had finally been taken off as the red vest top she was wearing had ridden up exposing her flat stomach. He swallowed hard before he looked up at her.

�Thank you.� He told her, his voice raspy.

Elizabeth smiled softly.

�You want this one on?� She asked him pointing to the t-shirt; her eyes still focused on his chest.

He nodded and put his head through the top of the t-shirt and his arms through the sleeves as Elizabeth started to help him pull it down over his bare chest. It was then that Rodney sneezed and fell backwards onto the bed, taking Elizabeth with him.

For a moment they just lay there, Rodney with his t-shirt covering half of his upper body, and Elizabeth on top of him with her hands on his chest.

�Oh my god are you okay?� Rodney asked her worriedly.

Elizabeth tried to suppress a giggle.

�I�m fine really. Are you okay?� She asked him concerned for his back.

�If my back didn�t hurt so much I�d be in heaven.� He told her with a small smile.

Elizabeth tried to shuffle from on top of him over to beside him on the bed. Rodney put a hand on the small of her back where there was bare skin to help her and this time it was her turn to shiver as his fingers touched her skin.

They both stopped moving and Elizabeth looked at him and blushed. Rodney thought he�d never seen a more adorable sight in his life as she buried her head in the covers at his side.

He put a hand on the back of her head and ran his fingers through her hair.

�At least now we�re both embarrassed.� He commented quietly watching as she propped her head up with her arm and studied him. �What?� He asked her frowning. �Are you angry?�

She shook her head and moved so she was leaning over him. �Elizabeth?� He whispered confused.

Elizabeth leant in and kissed him, her body brushing against his as the kiss deepened. Her heart was pounding and so was his and when his hand rested on her cheek tenderly she could feel the electricity flowing between them.

Reluctantly Elizabeth pulled away and studied his expression, which was a mixture of want and confusion.

�You kissed me...� He commented.

�Yes Rodney. I do know that I kissed you.� She replied cheekily, a little amused at his reaction.

�But why?� He asked her frowning, wondering how she could kiss him like that if she needed more time to think about where her heart belonged.

�Because I made my choice.� She told him quietly, watching his expression carefully.

�Elizabeth a few hours ago you were telling me that you needed more time. I don�t want you to rush into any decisions. I�m not that good a catch.� He told her softly. �I might only end up hurting you...� He added slowly pushing himself up from the position that he was laying in and moving to the top of his bed, sitting up and leaning against the wall.

Elizabeth moved to his side and stroked his cheek with her fingers. She then traced a line over his stomach with her fingertips. Once again his body shuddered under her touch.

�Why must you do that?� He asked her, a hint of a smile on his face.

She smiled in response.

�Earlier on when you were in so much pain I was so scared. When I sat in the infirmary waiting to hear how you were I was petrified. Rodney I hate it when you�re in pain. I hate it when you�re hurting whether its physical or emotional and I think I�d hate it even more if I wasn�t the one with you when you�re upset or hurt...whenever you need someone. I want to be that person.�

�I don�t want you to be that person out of duty.�

�It wouldn�t be out of duty.� She reassured him touching her face. �Rodney I didn�t come here expecting to find someone that I wanted to be with. I didn�t plan it and in a lot of ways it�d probably be easier if it hadn�t happened so believe me being with you out of duty would be the last thing on my mind. But it has happened and I do care and I do want to be with you. I can�t change it and I don�t want to. How can I not be with the person that my heart desires?� She asked him.

�Elizabeth I don�t want you to regret this. I don�t want you to end up resenting me because you feel like you�ve betrayed Simon. I wouldn�t be able to live with myself.� He told her looking at his hands that were resting in his lap.

Elizabeth sat cross-legged at his side and looked at him thoughtfully. She could see that he was so worried she�d only end up disliking him for choosing him over Simon. She could see he was worried that he wasn�t good enough for her and would only disappoint her.

�Rodney I wouldn�t be able to live with myself if I wasn�t with you. If what had happened with your back had been something more serious and I�d have lost you...there is no way I would have wanted you to go without us having given whatever this is between us a chance. I could never resent you� She then reassured him running her fingers up and down his arm comfortingly.

�I don�t want to hurt you. I don�t want to disappoint you.� He told her softly, unable to bear the thought that one day he might say or do something to push away the one person he cared about more than he had anyone else in his life.

�The first thing you said to me when we ended up like this...� She started, thinking of the heap they had previously been in on the bed � ...Was am I okay. When we were stuck on that dream Atlantis you were constantly checking to see if I was all right. Today was so hard but it was because of you that I got through it like I did. You knew what I needed when I needed it. You�d never hurt me intentionally Rodney. I know that. I also know that you�re not perfect and that you have your faults and insecurities. But who doesn�t? I want to be with you, sarcasm and all.� She told him softly.

�You�re too good for me Elizabeth.� He told her sadly. �I�m not someone that you want to be with. Trust me.�

Elizabeth sighed; tears threatening to fall as she realised his fear were causing him to push her away.

�Rodney when I touched you earlier...both times...�

He blushed.

�No one has ever reacted to my touch like that. Not even Simon. When I touched you I could feel how much you wanted me. I could see what I made you feel. With Simon it was so different. He was a good man but it didn�t feel like that when...but with you...Rodney you make me feel special. You make me feel wanted. You make me feel needed. You just make me feel. When I touched you and I saw that...when I felt that...I felt what I meant to you and I just knew that...� She tried to explain tearfully. �And when you touched me...�

Rodney put his arm around her and she rested her head on his shoulder. He played with her hair as he wondered what he had done to deserve such a wonderful woman in his life.

�When you touched me it was like electricity running through my body. It was like every inch of my skin was so sensitive and just screaming out for your touch again. I haven�t felt like that before Elizabeth. I mean sure I�ve been attracted to women before but only with you have I felt like that. Like I�m at my most vulnerable. Like your touch could make every hair on my body stand up in anticipation and your smile could make my heart burst. What I feel for you is way more than physical.� He told her kissing her forehead.

�What I feel for you is too. When you touched me I felt my whole body shiver because I wanted you and whenever you hold me I feel safe. I feel more for you than I ever thought possible.� She replied. �There are so many things about you Rodney.�

He smiled.

�It�s nice to know that someone appreciates my charms.� He teased. �Look I can�t guarantee that I won�t be a pain in the ass. I can�t guarantee that there won�t be any times when my more annoying character traits do decide to make themselves known and I can�t guarantee that I won�t get hurt on a mission or here. You know how clumsy I am. But I can guarantee that I�ll try my best to be the man that you deserve.�

�You already are.� Elizabeth replied honestly. �I want to be with you Rodney. You have to believe me that I won�t hurt you. You have to believe me when I say that I care about you. Every part of you and I want to be with you.�

�I know.� Rodney replied as he kissed her forehead again.

Elizabeth yawned tiredly and nestled her head against his chest.

�You�re exhausted.� He commented as he noticed for the first time that her eyes were half closed.

Elizabeth nodded and then yawned again.

�Sorry.� She remarked, smiling sheepishly and leaning her head back against the wall tiredly.

Rodney carefully got up off the bed and found Elizabeth a t-shirt that she could put on. He walked over to the bed and handed it to her.

�You can stay if you want. I promise I won�t try anything. I don�t think my body can take any more excitement today.� He told her grinning.

Elizabeth nodded. 

As Rodney changed into some pyjama bottoms, grumbling when his back started to hurt him again, Elizabeth changed into the t-shirt. She could smell his scent on it and she breathed it in deeply. She then got off the bed and pulled the blankets down ready for them to get in.

�You�re really going to stay?� He asked her a little shocked.

�After everything we�ve just said do you really think I�m going to go back to my quarters and leave you?� She asked him quietly.

Rodney smiled and made his way over to the bed. He carefully climbed in one side while she climbed in the other and they pulled the covers up around them.

For a moment they lay there a little unsurely, Rodney shuffling about until he was comfortable. He then turned to face her and she moved closer to him and rested her head on his chest, breathing in his scent and closing her eyes tiredly. Rodney wrapped his arm around her the best that he could with his back still sore and traced invisible patterns on the back of her neck with his fingertips.

Elizabeth smiled and opened her eyes tiredly as he touched her skin. She leant in to him and kissed him, cupping his cheek with her palm as she did so.

Rodney stroked her cheek and smiled at her affectionately. He had no idea what he had done to deserve her but he thanked god that he had been blessed enough to have such a loving, beautiful and intelligent woman in his life.

�Get some sleep okay?� He told her softly kissing her eyelids when they closed again.

Elizabeth nodded gently and not long afterwards she was asleep in his arms. 

Rodney watched her as she slept, not wanting to close his eyes for a second in case he woke up and once again everything was a dream. Eventually though sleep claimed him and when he awoke later that morning with the woman he loved still in his arms, her eyes shining as she watched him sleep, he realised that for the first time in his life he truly felt at home.

In previous relationships he had pushed his partner away with his sarcasm and his sometimes loud mouth but with Elizabeth that was something he never wanted to do. It was something he knew that she�d never let him do because she had the ability to see into him and see the more sensitive side of himself that he kept hidden away inside for fear of getting hurt. He had grown so much because of her and he wanted to continue to grow. He wanted what his counterpart had and knowing that gave him the determination to make this relationship last and gave him the determination to try once and for all to let go of all his past demons and embrace the new chapter of his life that was now beginning. Holding her in his arms felt like the most natural thing in the world and he realised that he didn�t know what he�d do if he lost such a meaningful person in his life.

It really had been a strange day for the inhabitants of Atlantis. One filled with confusion, shock and a lot of revealing truths but for many it had been a catalyst in showing them how they should embrace life and follow their dreams and desires because after all, who knows what lies just around the corner. 


End file.
